Things You Thought You Knew But Really Didn't

I hereby present my list of Things That You Thought You Knew But Really Didn’t. I exist solely to bring information to the masses. Get your brain prepared: I’m about to lay some cold, hard knowledge into that gray matter.

1. French fries are from France:
   A big, fat lie sandwich. French fries originated in Belgium. They're only called "French" fries because of the way that they are cut—as evidenced by the fact that steak fries aren't called steak French fries, and waffle fries aren't called waffle French fries. In conclusion, French fries aren't French. Besides, how could the French, inventors of snobbery and escargot*, have invented something as delicious as the French fry? Never thought of it that way, have you?

2. Napoleon was short:
   False and false again. Napoleon is been said to have clocked in at 5'2". What people fail to mention is that this measurement is in French Feet. Which, like the French, are different from the rest of the world, and possibly very stupid*. Just kidding. Anyway, when converted to American feet, Napoleon stood about 5'6", or 1.69 m. He was short by today's standards (about Daniel Radcliffe's height. I'm not a stalker at all), but Napoleon was just a regular Joe back in the day. So having a whole complex named after him for being short is just complete bullcrap. Remember that the next time you see Daniel Radcliffe.

3. Peanuts are nuts. Are you nuts? (I'm so punny):
   Peanuts, while being delicious and nutritious, are a legume. Nuts, right? (This is just way too fun. So many puns! Oh, look, I rhymed!) Other famous legumes include: beans, peas, soy, carob, etc. (Not going to lie, I have no idea what carob is.) So think about that. Peanuts are not a nut. Our world is insane.

4. That red stuff in your raw meat is blood:
   Not going to lie, I always thought that it was blood too. That is why I seriously considered going vegetarian, because the stuff grossed me out. Now, I can't go vegetarian for health reasons, but I can rest easier because that icky stuff is mainly water. Crazy, right? The substance that makes the water look red is a protein called myoglobin. Most (if not all) of the blood is removed from the meat after the slaughter, if you pardon my phrasing. I can continue eating my dino nuggets with a free and clear conscience.

5. The color red makes bulls mad:
   Bologna. Seriously. Bulls are dichromatic, or, in layman's terms, colorblind. Red doesn't enrage bulls; they can hardly differentiate it from any other color. It's the motion of the cape and the matador's stupid costume that cause bulls to charge. (I joke. It isn't the cape at all. I'm not sure what it is, but I know it isn't the color red.)

6. Your hair and fingernails continue growing after you die:
   What really happens is that your skin dries up (because you aren't drinking water because you're, um, dead) and shrinks back, giving fingers and hair the appearance of growth. But no actual growth occurs. Don't be dumb.

7. You have five senses:
   Taste, Touch, Sight, Smell, and Sound. While this is what every little kid is taught, thanks to Aristotle (<---true fact), this isn't quite true. This is a half-truth. As a human, you have way more senses than a measly five. Give yourself some credit! Some of the cooler ones are...

-Proprioception: Knowing where your body is. Itch your foot. Did you have to look to find your foot? No, right? You just knew where it was without thinking. That is proprioception.

-Thermoception: The temperature relative to you. This is especially handy when maintaining homeostasis. Heehee, science.

-Nociception: In short, pain. Knowing where and how much something hurts in your body.

-Equilibrioception: Balance and gravity as relative to you. This handy-dandy sense keeps you on your feet.

1. You only use ten percent of your brain:
   FalsefalsefalsefalseFALSE. If you were only using ten percent of your brain at any given time, you would be a human vegetable. While it's true that neurons typically fire in smaller groups, you use them all. If you didn't, I would be very scared. In short, YOU USE YOUR BRAIN. A LOT. Which is good, no?

Thus concludes my List of Things You Thought You Knew But Really Didn’t. I hope I enlightened a few of you. And if I didn’t, well, go eat some French fries. At least you know they aren’t French anymore!

We feel so much smarter now! Can you think of any other popular myths or misconceptions that need correcting?