Interviewer: Are you still going to continue your advocacy on marine conservation even if you don't get the scholarship?
Me: Yes, definitely.
I have advocated for the environment in exchange of financially nothing. There's barely any money in trying to be an environmentalist. Nonetheless, I've earned so much in trying to be one for most of my life. I've built networks. I'm more confident in speaking in front of a crowd. I've learned how to do information and education campaigns. I've gained experience in how to deal with people from varying backgrounds. And on top of it all, I've learned how to care for the little things in nature and in society. These are all things money can't buy and even if I'm given the chance to redo my life, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Today I was a fish out water venturing into the concrete jungles of the capital region of the Philippines in pursuit of achieving one of my goals: a postgrad degree in marine resource management. I flew in from the island of Mactan, my current home, to Manila at three this morning. The previous day was stressful because fire broke out very near our apartment and it has been causing me traumatic stress (our home got devoured by fire when I was 11). On top of that, power went out so I couldn't sleep comfortably. My anticipated four hours of sleep was cut down to one.
I slept the whole flight in and deplaned in a groggy, grumpy state. I hopped into a taxicab which took me straight to Makati where I was to scavenge for a dorm bed to sleep on for a few hours. I did find one at bargain price of 250php and I honestly got what I paid for: crowded dorm with a less than single bed's width. It didn't matter that much because I immediately dozed off. It was six in the morning.
Before daybreak at Makati
I woke up at ten in the morning. Washed my face, put on a thin layer of powder, eyeliner, and a maroon lipstick I got as a present from my sister-in-law last christmas. I do not like puttung on make up but I had to appear neat and groomed so this was the best I could do.
I went to SM Aura for brunch and I was dismayed with the absence of cheap fastfood. I had to make do with Starbuck's French toast and Cafe Latte while I did a final skim through my notes.
Concrete jungle
The venue for the interview was less than half a mile from where I had my brunch so I decided to walk to release the tension that was building up in my nerves. That was yet the worst decision I made this morning as I arrived at the venue dripping in sweat from the long walk under the scorching midday sun.
The Embassy for the United Kingdom of Great Britain and North Ireland is not as fancy or formal as I expected it to be. In fact, it seemed like a nice environment to work in, minus its heightened security measures.
I was there because I applied for a Chevening scholarship, the most prestigious study grant awarded by the British government. After a tough screening process, I am overwhelmed to be able to move on to the interview part.
My first order of business as I entered the Embassy is to change my shirt. It was a good call to bring an extra piece of clothing even if thiz was only a day trip. And my sweaty self had that to thank my prepper self for.
Different classes, one district
I was an hour early so I just sat at the reception lobby still studying my notes and alternately watching the news on an LED screen. The last male northern white rhinoceros just died, said the news. This saddening news made me feel like the world was closing in on me.
Finally, I was ushered into the interview room. Everything happened so fast. I had no chronological memory of what the questions were and how I answered them. The only things I remembered were the ones I found difficult to answer.
It was about my future plans. I made it clear that I wanted to study marine resource management because I want to positively influence the lives of local fisherfolks. I threw in a few more technical information about commercial fishing, municipal waters, and artisanal fishing. I highlighted my strength in empowering communities through education and in providing education where technical data is translated into something the layman can understand.
But the million dollar question kept popping up, "HOW?"
In my head, I wanted so badly to answer that this is the reason why I wanted to study a postgrad in marine resource management, because I want to know how I will be able to create change. It was a risky thing to answer so I opted to play around the interrelationship of marine protected areas, the fisheries code, and the modes of fishing until either the interviewer was satisfied of the answer or that she knew I wasn't very sure myself.
I walked out of the Embassy exactly the same way I came in and when I passed by a directional sign pointing to where the "British Embassy" was, I snapped a souvenir photo for this humbling experience.
A souvenir snap
Maybe I really am unsure of what I exactly want to do. Maybe I don't know enough just yet to succeed in a demanding MSc. Maybe this really wasn't for me.
I took another long walk to try to get a decent meal and convinced myself that even this far out into the Chevening scholarship application process is far enough. I must've done something worthwhile in the past that these guys wanted to talk to me in person at the Embassy for the United Kingdom of Great Britain and North Ireland.
I would like to thank everyone who supported me throughout the application process, to those who gave me advices and recommendation letters. I wouldn't have gone this far without your help.
I am now waiting for my plane that is expected to arrive at NAIA in 2 more hours. For the meantime, I will dig my nose in another Sherlock Holmes book and then hope that I find the comfort of home real soon.
Cheers,
Xayd