I had the opportunity of interviewing renowned electric car maker, sky sailor and tunnel muncher, Elon "Señor Rocket" Musk. This is the first part of my "Courtyard People" section.
Gordon: We all know who you are and what you do, Mr Musk, but how did you get into making rockets?
Elon: Well Gordon, it’s a great question. It all started with me seeing the cost of moon rocks on Etsy that drove me to making my own ways of getting those moon rocks.
Gordon: I know, I want moon rocks myself, but most people would think builing their own rocket company would be more expensive. How on Earth did you get the money together?
Elon: It’s an excellent question Gordon. The Kevin SpaceyX rocket corporation was funded by me selling PurPal, a robotic cat that feeds other cats by excreting food pellets. It made me a lot of money, I just used that to make my space boat thingies.
Gordon: Wow, you truly are a man of many talents. Are there any other million dollar ideas you have had?
Elon: Great question. I am thinking about making this big robot worm thingy that digs up all the Earth rocks for me. They’re not quite as good as rocks from distant moons or planets, but if I am ever to become the king of rocks, I will need to start somewhere.
Gordon: Cool beans yo. I live on Earth too, we should hang out some time and lick rocks together.
Elon: No thanks Gordon, you’ve got a bit of a beigey vibe if I’m honest. I only hang out with people with a more red/blue vibe, perhaps purple as a compromise.
Gordon: Oh. Moving on, what do you plan on doing with this new mars colony you recently announced about?
Elon: A puzzling question Gordon, I have already told you this. Why are you asking me again?
Gordon: I don’t remember ever asking you, or you telling me.
Elon: Ah. That’s probably the Rohypnol kicking in. We explained this before the procedure.
Gordon: What procedure?
Elon: Fantastic question Gordon. You’re actually already on your way to Mars. You signed the contract and we shoved you on the rocket, all drugged up so you couldn’t fight back.
Gordon: What? You can’t do this! My lawyers will take you to the pub!
Elon: I don’t think that’s quite the saying, Gordon. But who do you think they’ll believe, some space monkey, or you?
Gordon: Oh, you Musk be joking.
[Pause for laughter]