It is an inevitable and unfortunate part of life, but at some point in our lives, we will experience grief and loss. Whether it is losing a loved one, a family pet, a job, an unforeseen lifestyle change, or any number of circumstances, we will encounter loss and the grief that can come along with it. This certainly is not anything that we ever want to deal with, but when we do have to, having an understanding of the emotions that we will face, can help us better manage this tough time in our lives.
I have often talked about how our level of Emotional Wellness is an equal part of overall wellbeing. In order to truly live a Wellness Based Lifestyle, we have to work on strengthening our ability to cope and handle the emotional stressors that we are faced with in life. The following information is a brief description of the Stages of Grief (Kubler-Ross), so take the info for what it's worth. Knowing that the following emotions are normal can go a long way in helping you feel much more grounded and able to move forward with your life.
1. Denial:
When in this stage, very few things in life make sense. You are still in a state of shock from the loss and you feel numb inside. It is difficult to see how and why we should go on. When in this stage, it literally is survival mode in that you must try to find simple ways to get through each day.
2. Anger:
It is important that you allow yourself to feel and experience anger. When in denial, you cannot heal. If the anger seems endless, so be it. Just allow yourself to feel this way because you are excepting what has happened. Behind anger is a pain, which again is leading towards accepting the loss or state of grief.
3. Bargaining:
At this stage, whether it is conscious or unconscious, we begin to bargain with ourselves and in many cases a higher power. Perhaps we say things like, if you can just let this go away I'll do this, or promise to do that. Again, keep in mind this is a normal response that everyone goes through.
4. Depression:
This in many ways is the hardest stage to deal with. At this stage, you feel sad, empty, and have little to no hope. In this way, this is a dangerous stage for many people, as they may look to alcohol, drugs or other unhealthy habits to try to get through the depression. Understand that experiencing depression does not make you a weak person. It is certainly understandable to feel this emotion during a loss. If though you find your depression is debilitating or interfering with your ability to function on a daily basis, then seek help.
5. Acceptance:
This is the final stage. At this point, we have accepted the loss and made the decision to move on with our lives. We can begin to experience an inner peace.
Again, these are very brief descriptions and examples of the 5 Stages of Grief. Being aware can certainly help to better prepare us, and it is never a bad idea to reach out for help when experiencing loss and grief. There are many healthcare practitioners that specialize in Grief and Loss Counseling. There are also many self-help books on the market that delve further into this subject. Being open and honest with a loved one in regards to what you are experiencing is another less formal means of seeking assistance. The most important thing to keep in mind is asking for help during our times of need is actually a sign of inner strength!
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