Behavior Based Strategies to Improve Leadership Emotional Intelligence
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1: Understanding Emotional Intelligence
What is emotional intelligence?..................................................................................................... page 2
Emotional intelligence at work ...................................................................................................... page 6
Chapter 2: Developing Self-Awareness
Getting to know yourself ............................................................................................................... page 9
Understanding feelings ............................................................................................................... page 17
Chapter 4: Building Awareness of Others
Developing empathy ................................................................................................................... page 22
Chapter 5: Building Relationships
Facilitating team performance..................................................................................................... page 23
Recommended Resources and References............................................................................................... page 24
Chapter 1: Understanding Emotional Intelligence
What is emotional intelligence?
Assessing your emotional intelligence
Instructions: Read the definition of each competency and take notes on how you currently practice each one.
Personal Competence
(Manage Ourselves) Social Competence
(Manage Relationships)
Self-Awareness
Knowledge of self
Accurate self-assessment
Self-confidence Awareness of Others
Empathy
Service orientation
Organizational acumen
Appreciating diversity
Motivation
Achievement drive
Commitment
Initiative
Optimism
Self-Regulation
Emotional self-control
Conscientiousness
Trustworthiness
Adaptability
Initiative and Innovation Building Relationships
Communication
Developing others
Facilitating team performance
Managing conflict
Building influence
Catalyzing change
Inspirational leadership
Competency Definition Notes on Current Practice
Knowledge of self
(Emotional awareness) Knowing one's emotions, values, and personality, and recognizing their impact; using "gut instincts" to guide actions
Accurate self-assessment Knowing one's strengths and limits
Self-confidence Strong sense of one's self-worth and capabilities
Competency Definition Notes on Current Practice
Emotional self-control Managing one's managing impulsive or distressing feelings so that they don't impact others negatively
Integrity Maintaining standards of honesty; speaking and acting in alignment with values; taking responsibility for personal performance; being trustworthy
Achievement drive Striving to meet a standard of excellence; having the ability to set and achieve goals; persistence and sustainability
Adaptability Flexibility in adapting to changing situations or overcoming obstacles; resilience
Initiative and innovation Being comfortable with novel
Ideas, approaches, and new ideas
Learning orientation Commitment to continual learning and improvement
Empathy Accurately sensing and understanding others' emotions; taking active interest in their needs and concerns
Service orientation Anticipating and meeting the needs of others (followers, employees, and customers); contributing to the common good
Organizational acumen Reading the forces that shape the organization, including power, influence, values, and external pressures
Appreciating diversity Valuing the contributions of a wide range of people; understanding the influences of various factors including race, gender, economic background, nationality, etc.
Competency Definition Notes on Current Practice
Communication Hearing and listening to others; sending and receiving messages accurately
Developing others Sensing others' developmental needs; enhancing others' abilities through feedback and coaching
Facilitating team performance Creating group synergy by pursuing collective goals through collaboration and cooperation
Managing conflict Negotiating and resolving disagreements; facilitating others to move through conflict
Building influence Identifying and nurturing instrumental relationships; effectively persuading others
Catalyzing change Initiating, designing, and facilitating change and new directions
Inspiration leadership Guiding and motivating others through a compelling vision; aligning the goals and strategies of the organization
Emotional intelligence at work
Assessing self and organization
Instructions: Rate the proficiency for each skill (low, medium, high) and the frequency (percent) at which it's practiced. Assess yourself and your organization.
Competency Self
Proficiency Frequency
L M H % Organization
Proficiency Frequency
L M H % Notes
Self-awareness
Emotional awareness
Accurate
self-assessment
Self-confidence
Self-regulation
Self-Control
Trustworthiness
Conscientiousness
Adaptability
Innovation
Competency
Self
Proficiency Frequency
L M H %
Organization
Proficiency Frequency
L M H %
Notes
Motivation
Achievement drive
Commitment
Initiative
Optimism
Competency Self
Proficiency Frequency
L M H % Organization
Proficiency Frequency
L M H % Notes
Empathy
Understanding
Others
Developing
Others
Service
Orientation
Leveraging
Diversity
Political
Awareness
Social Skills
Influence
Communication
Conflict Management
Leadership
Change catalyst
Building bonds
Collaboration & Cooperation
Team
Capabilities
Chapter 2: Developing Self-Awareness
Getting to know yourself
Identify your values
Instructions: List your top 5 core values.
Mini life story
Write down a brief review of your life story. Consider how you have been shaped by your family life, education, cultural heritage, major successes and failures, traumatic events, and your hopes and aspirations.
Identify your skills
List and assess your skills in foundational areas like time management, communicating effectively, and setting and achieving goals.
Use the scale of 1 = need improvement, 2 = stays the same, and 3 = exceptional.
Jot down any notes for how you can improve in this area.
Skill Assessment 1 2 3 Notes
List and assess the technical skills specific to your current job.
Skill Assessment 1 2 3 Notes
Identify your communication style
Assess your communication style on the continuum below.
Passive Assertive Aggressive
A pattern of not expressing my needs, wants, and opinions, and putting others before myself. A pattern of clearly expressing my needs, wants, and opinions in ways that is considerate of others. A pattern of forcefully expressing my needs, wants, and opinions in ways that violate the needs of others.
Use the form below to assess how you organize and convey information to others.
These are some of the markers that differentiate cultural communication styles.
Linear
Message moves step by step, in linear way, toward the main point. "Getting to the point" is very important, and the point of the message is clearly stated. Circular
Message moves around the main point. Verbal and nonverbal information is assumed to convey meaning. Stating the point is seen as insulting the other person.
Direct
Meaning is stated in a very direct manner and expressed precisely. Directness is equated with honesty and respect for the other person. Indirect
Meaning is conveyed by subtle means such as nonverbal cues, stories, and implication. Indirectness is considered respectful of the other person.
Low Context
The context of the communication is not assumed to be known. Meaning is explained clearly and unambiguously. Meaning must be expressed precisely. High Context
The context for communication is assumed to be known. Hence it is unnecessary, even insulting, to explain things and state meaning precisely. Meaning is taken from context.
Identify your personality or temperament
Complete the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment at:
www.mbticomplete.com or the Keirsey Temperament Sorter (KTS) at
Identify your 4- letter code:
Identify your workstyle
Complete the DiSC Work Profile at http://www.everythingdisc.com/
Dominance Influence Steadiness Conscientiousness
Identify your conflict style
Complete the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Style at https://www.cpp.com/products/tki/index.aspx.
Avoiding Accommodating Compromising Competing Collaborating
Identify your leadership style
Take the Situational Leadership II at www.kenblanchard.com.
Directing Coaching Supporting Delegating
Take the Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI) at www.TheLeadershipChallenge.com.
Understanding feelings
Download the "Feelings Inventory" page from http://www.cnvc.org/sites/cnvc.org/files/feelings_inventory.pdf.
Use it to identify your feelings. Using this chart, mark down brief notes about what you are feeling and why.
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
Morning
Midday
Afternoon
Evening
Understanding Feelings
Looking over the week, what do you notice?
Are there any patterns that you see?
Are you experiencing the full spectrum of emotions (i.e. across the range of categories on the handout)? Why or why not?
How can you build more opportunities for feeling your feelings, such as setting a time each day to sit quietly or to go for a walk?
Which feelings are you most comfortable allowing yourself to truly feel?
Which feelings are the most uncomfortable? What do you typically do to distract yourself from those feelings (e.g. eat, watch TV, clean, work, etc.)?
What support can you seek for working with your more challenging feelings (such as a therapist or coach)?
Explore the appropriateness of how you express different feelings. Are there any changes you would like to make? How can you develop new patterns for expressing your feelings?
Chapter 4: Building Awareness of Others
Developing empathy
Reading emotions
The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California at Berkeley has a great online quiz to help you read the emotions of others.
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz/
It will show you how to read the key zones of the face (eyes, nose, mouth, head tilt) to correctly read and identify emotions in others.
Listen to the vocal cues to understand emotions
Vocal cues = Consider how the following vocal cues affect the meaning of a person's communication:
Intensity = volume or loudness
Pitch = how high or low the sound equates to the frequency on a musical scale.
Intonation = how our voice rises and falls with certain words or meanings
Pace = rate of talking or the speed
Enunciation = how clearly syllables are spoken or articulated
Silence = non-vocal aspects like pauses, sighs, and gasps
Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions. (Understand the behavior that enhances the emotion).
Positive and Negative Emotions
and Frequencies
Developing empathy
Ask yourself these questions?
How can I listen more attentively to people's words and assess their non-verbal cues?
How can I become more attuned to the moods of others? How can I better understand what motivates other people?
When someone has a different background or experience, how can I learn more about their views, needs and concerns?
In what ways can I become more sensitive to others' needs?
Chapter 5: Building Relationships
Facilitating team performance
Instructions: Using Tuckman's Model, reflect on either the development of a past group or identify which stage your group or team is currently in.
Stage 1: Forming Stage 2: Storming Stage 3: Norming Stage 4: Performing Stage 5: Adjourning
Objective: Learn and get acquainted. Objective:
Sort out differences. Objective:
Become cohesive. Objective:
Grow and improve. Objective: Make meaning of experience.
Task:
Learn about the task and rules. Task:
Organize goals and ideas. Task:
Contribute to groups' goals. Task:
Focus on high achievement. Task:
Task wraps up and ends.
Relationships:
Getting acquainted. Relationship: Testing limits and conflict. Relationships: Building deeper connections. Relationships:
Working collaboratively. Relationships:
Celebrating successes.
Notes: Notes: Notes: Notes: Notes:
Recommended Resources and References for Behavioral strategies to improve Emotional Intelligence to be a more effective leader and person.
Books:
Leading with Emotional Intelligence by Redlan Nadler
Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
The Emotionally Intelligent Manager by Caruso and Salovey
Emotions revealed by Paul Ekman
Resonant Leadership by Boyatzis and McKee
Quiet Leadership by David Rock
Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
Intuition at Work by Gary Klein
Super Brain by Rudolph E. Tanzi and Deepak Chopra
Good to Great by Jim Collins
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
Leading at a Higher Level by Ken Blanchard
The Leadership Challenge by Kouzes and Posner
StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath (includes online assessment)
Drive and A Whole New Mind by Dan Pink
Privilege, Power and Difference by Allan Johnson
Assessments:
Myers Brigg Type Indicator (MBTI) at www.mbticomplete.com
Keirsey Temperament Sorter (KTS) at http://www.keirsey.com
DiSC Work Profile at http://www.everythingdisc.com/
Thomas-Kilmann Type Indicator (TKI) at https://www.cpp.com/products/tki/index.aspx
Leadership Practices Inventory (LPI) at www.theleadershipchallenge.com
Change Style Indicator (CSI) at https://www.discoverylearning.com/c-6-individual-assessments.aspx
Films:
Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/empathy
Daniel Goleman http://danielgoleman.info/topics/emotional-intelligence/
Range of courses on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Ted Talks
