Devastated by how cruel fate had been with me, I was sleepy watching the burning wick of a candle give its last breath before going off and fall back into the blackness of a gothic and cloudy night, there was no electricity in that house haunted by the loneliness and living so far from everything, there was no noise from a neighbor to silence my silence, at some point I liked that, loneliness, lose myself in my thoughts and travel to fantastic worlds that ended up representing in short stories that I kept only for me, or portraying them in a bastard canvas that ended up always being discarded because of my disagreement.
I remember that before all this, before solitude, before despair we used to laugh and laugh like children in a carousel. Life had meaning and a purpose, because my purpose was you, every second I spent with you was the greatest experience of my life, you were so condescending with me that I always felt that I should pay you. I knew that everything you did for me, I could never even think about giving it back to you, you made me know happiness, passion, excitement and carnal pleasure. It was more than thirty years that we spent together, it hurts that we could never do that shoot that we wanted so much, but life did not want to give us that opportunity, in youth, you were the most beautiful thing that my eyes came to see, in adulthood, you were the most sensual and attractive for me and also you were the pillar that prevented me from collapsing. There were fights, there were long discussions but we never let ourselves be carried away by pride since we knew that our love was bigger than that.
I never waited for the day you left, I always thought that I, being so risky and volatile would die first and that idea made you sad and angry, but the truth was well founded, more than once, you were about to lose your life but for The reason why I found the strength in you to move on. You never expect that the person that you love me one day simply disappears and that I received the news and my perfect world has been destroyed, that it has been lost all the time, because you were my everything.
Years have passed and during small flashback, lucid memories, I see your beautiful face and imagined us both dancing ridiculously, we laugh again as children playing the carousel and tears flood my eyes, but it is not sadness, it is happiness to know that a part of you is still here with me, in my memories, in my thoughts, in my imagination. Now I am an old man whose flame is about to go out and who just kept his promise not to commit suicide out of respect for you. I see the sparkling tip of the candle ending and the flame grows larger, it is as if I wanted to be noticed before dying, wait for my love, that when this fire goes out we will meet again and we can dance again.
