Tonight, Chip talks about deep cultural mind-control and his foil hat. He goes on and on about that hat:
Good evening, says me, and because I'm Chip Jackson, and since you're watching Foil Hat News Update and Review, you know it's true.
A good evening it is, and certainly all of our sources are in agreement concerning the good quality of the evening here at the Foil Hat News Update and Review, while I'm also told that numerous outdoor insiders have been saying "good evening" as well, so let me repeat:
Good Evening.
You might be asking yourself, why should I believe a single word of this puppet's never-ending stream of malarkey?
It's a really good question!
Other viewers of this program have asked similar questions at my Chip Jackson's Foil Hat Update and Review page, let's look at a few of the delightful comments here:
"Who is pulling this puppet's strings, and why do they want us to think it's a 'good evening'?"
"Double You Tee Eff, Chip! How can I believe you with that hat?"
"You know we can see your strings, right?"
"Srsly? lol nice hat"
That's just the first few comments, and, scrolling down... it's more of the same. It looks like our top story tonight is going to be ME, and more specifically, I guess let's go ahead and talk about the hat!
This is a serious topic, actually.
Tonight's Top Story
The Foil Hat- Real Protection, or Real Crazy?
Government mind-control beams, Martian death rays, voices and unusual impulses being transmitted into our minds, or supernatural cosmic radiation, every conspiratologist worth a fiat penny knows that if and when these things penetrate the human skull, those same skulls could lose their marbles, or worse.
But what if I told you that the REAL reason that I wear the foil hat has nothing to do with marbles?
In the simplest terms, we have all been conditioned to consider the foil hat to be synonymous with CRAZY.
Basically, we have been programmed to associate any kind of alternative thinking with the foil hat, so that we automatically tend to consider any conspiracy theories as just more tinfoilery, not to be taken seriously.
Through such association, ya don't need to wear an actual foil hat to be called a tinfoil hatter if you insists on expressing ideas that don't fit the official script and accepted rhetoric of the culture.
Digging even deeper into the weird world of conspiratology- if we dare to think it-- the foil hat has been shown to fall into three main subgroups when applied to disinformation, perception management, cultural conditioning and mass programming of the group mind:
1.) The Government-Issued Foil Hat. When the government drops an agent into a society's subcultural in order to discredit an idea or to disrupt the dynamics of any beneficial social movement, that agent might infiltrate certain organizations, gain credibility, then start saying and doing the crazy stuff, to make the rest look bad by association. They 'put on the foil hat' so to speak, and will attract ridicule to an organization like flies onto a carcass. They are the turd in the punchbowl, tainting all of the related research or discovery on any thing that comes near afterwards. By bringing tinfoilery into the group, the agent makes everyone else look bonkers by association.
2.) The Media-Issued Foil Hat. The Modern media has the power to plop a foil hat on any old whoever they like, and can do it with just a few words, sung with just the right notes by just the right voice at just the right time. When some snappy researcher comes along and threatens to break Hollywood's spell or expose things that are too close for comfort, the media will begin their attack with the laughter, and the foil hat is nearly always mentioned with tabloid precision. It's generally understood that a Media-Issued Foil Hat is a warning to whoever is forced to wear it, and might even be considered a lucky break, and in some cases, might lead one into the third category for their own protection, the Self-Issued Foil Hat.
3.) The Self Issued Foil Hat. For the researcher who makes a habit of skirting too closely to the truth, and who as a result finds themselves in real danger, then a foil hat could prove to be a life-saver. As has been established, there's no way anyone can be taken seriously when they wear one. When the foil hat is worn purposefully, it is worn by someone who can then say whatever they want, and their former adversaries actually encourage it, knowing the power of the hat in spoiling information, and knowing the foil's ability to reflect obfuscation and deception all around itself.
So then, about my hat. I made it myself, and now I can say anything I like! It's a Self-Issued, Self-Inflicted ridicule magnet, and with the protection that this foil hat offers, I never worry about being suicided or getting kicked off the internet because of what I talk about.
The hat turned out looking like the Pope's hat, I thought.
Can I say that? Why, YES, I can say that my hat looks like the Pope's hat, because it does, sort of, and I can also add that my foil hat is empowered with nearly as much mind-control magic as the Pope's dumb fish hat. You don't believe me? You can't believe me, because foil hat. Because magic!
That thin metallic shield right there, it's some Pope-level sorcery going on, but it keeps me safe, and the trusty foil hat lets me blabber about whatever.
Speaking of Popes and whatever, in the next episode of Foil Hat News Update and Review I'll be talking about the parasitic controllers of this planet, how they manufacture religions to control our minds and create dogmas for us to fight about, and we'll begin to free our minds further as we go over how to distinguish real spiritual teachings from these manufactured mind-control devices that we call our major world religions.
Until next time, good night, and you've been watching the Foil Hat News Update and Review, so you know its all true!
all opinions, facts, photography, lighting, set design, puppet animation, props, cat control, craft services, script and final Markdown editing, plus final credit acknowledgments here by 
