Now you know a few basic skill tests, you understand what emotions are, you realize that in order to control others you must first know how to control yourself.
Redirecting your focus basically means projecting your desires onto the object of your desire. Imagine, in your mind, the target you wish to acquire, now you must prepare yourself both mentally and physically to attain it.
How is this done?
A few steps (Tips).
Tip 1. you must negate all negative thoughts, concentrate only on the positive. This means you must only think in terms of creativity and productivity.
Tip 2. Focus on your self-awareness, try to imagine watching yourself from the outside, how do you look and act? Then concentrate on how you feel from the inside, how are you reacting, feeling?
Tip 3. Start to self-regulate your emotional response, don’t let others regulate your actions, instead, you decide how you will react to any situation.
Tip 4. Improve your motivation by thinking of ways to increase output, reduce time and generally improve your work environment. Think positive, optimism is as addictive as pessimism, but with much better results.
Tip 5. Increase your empathic abilities by trying to help others solve situations. Show both compassion as well as actual aid in solving the situation.
Tip 6. Increase your social network and skills, basically continue to attract new friends both online and in real life. Increase your circle of influence through the number of people you know and relate to. (Don’t try to suck up to bosses! Try to talk to them and to those in lower positions, you never know who has influence or access to information)
These six tips will automatically make you the person everyone wants to talk to, to go-to in times of stress and generally to discuss, gossip or chat. Once you are a focal point, your chances of success increase exponentially.
Now for the 7th tip, perhaps the most important one of all.
Tip 7. Revenge is for losers. Instead of applying your time and efforts to seeking ways to make others suffer for indiscretions done to you, concentrate on attaining your target. To many companies have fallen, to many lives have been lost and too much pain has come from revenge. The very thought of “getting even” is infantile, the hardest thing to do is to ignore. By ignoring (not forgiving) you replace your valuable time and energies from concentrating on THEM, to concentrating on the real target, YOU! How YOU succeed, how YOU progress and how YOU reach your goals.
Redirecting your focus onto YOU, is what you must do every day, when you listen to how other describe their lives, what they like and what they do, it does not mean you must like it or do it too. You are not a sheep, neither are you a wolf, you are just you. You do not need to listen to jibes and meaningless criticism, you must listen to your inner voice, look at your goals and continue to aim for them
Live your life, not theirs! Remember you only have one life, don’t waste it by living according to how others think or tell you. On the other hand, there are certain social norms that you will need to adopt to maintain your focus.
Socializing
Whilst there are golf clubs and fitness centers that are actually social gathering sites, like watering holes, they bring many types of people together. There are also winter sports sites which is considered a major defining sport as well as museums and art centers, every country has a different social gathering point dependent on the weather, culture and religion of the country. In all countries charity work is considered a great social interactivity, since it connects you with other minded people but also has a productive outcome, it helps those in need. So, you must find out what are those social network centers that best suit your lifetime desires and join them. This is not being a sheep, its being goal minded, focusing on advancing yourself through every social media available.
Once you have joined one, your work is far from over. Now you must start to get involved in the daily activity, increasing your reach by volunteering occasionally, find out about the board, is there a “friends of” unit, such as in a museum. Go to this and join it. Start to get involved in their schedule, become an integral part of their activity. Over time you will find you are a member of a number of boards, and occasionally you will find certain people like you as members of more than one. You don’t need to be rich, you just need to have time and energy. You will suddenly find yourself being invited to all kids of parties and meetings. Use this to advance your career, map out who is who at each board, and start to build a map of influence.
Remember by using your new-found control over your emotions, you can easily adapt to any new environment, and can easily control how others perceive you.
