My introduction to Steemit community was somehow a mix of truth and a slight sarcasm. I will try to keep it flowing in my following posts. But please note that the topic chosen is very relevant in today's news pasture and therefore I am addressing it using my personal experience.
Here we go!
PS! Football = Soccer
Thinking about social football, usually what pops into your mind, is a bunch of guys wanting to play for fun or for the sake of good old days, when you could run as fast as a young stallion and the abdominal circumference was just slightly smaller. Even though if in time desire to play at a higher level of football diminishes, skills and love for the game remain. That’s when the social football comes into play - time and place where you can enjoy the game with an excitement of a moderate competitiveness.
Seeking for fun, love for the game and desire to compete brought our team to a social football tournament taking place on Wednesdays for 6 consecutive weeks, seven versus seven. This was a men’s competition, but slightly with a minor difference, or may I call it an adjustment we made. We had a woman in our team - me. As it was supposed to be social football, it did not even occur to us that having a female on the field, would cause the turmoil it eventually did.
I grew up playing with men and continued to do so for many years through high school, university and even once I was a grown woman. I have made a great effort to play and prove that female can play in men’s team. You may ask why? This is a post for another time and I will certainly answer that question. But for the time being, I wanted to share what was the ’turmoil’ I was previously talking about.
Playing with men hasn’t been easy, but never had anyone stoop so low in more than a decade I have played with men, than did our first competitors during our social football tournament.
The game started well. As always I got confusing and even judging looks before the game, when men saw a girl with a long blond hair on the field. I did not let it bother me as in time behaviour like that has grown on me. This is just a price a girl has to pay when playing with boys. Transfer the same to women and men, even though you do not see picture like that very often.
The game was rough, very physical and somehow too dirty. Opponents did not hold back, in fact nobody did. In some occasions after committing a foul our opponents got furious telling that this is a social game and not a f*king national league and we should take it easy, but very few minutes later they did not hold back and went straight into the tackle without seemingly even trying to get the ball carefully. Their only desire was to get the ball one way or another, even if it meant injuring someones ankles. Bodying and playing very physically, it is a part of football I love the most, but there’s a line you should not cross. It’s vague, but it’s there.
During the whole game our opponent’s defence was mad at their own players that their midfield let me to have so much space in the middle. We fought well and the end result was 3-3. The feelings were over the roof though. There was pushing, cursing, yelling, telling the referee off - way too much physical contact AFTER the game.
A social fight after a social football was almost started. Where did all the fun go? The fun that social football should bring? It cooled down after some intense minutes. We headed for stretching and our teammate went to sort out the issue. When he returned, he told us the real reason why our opponents where mad. We were surprised! Their legitimate reason for being so furious was that a girl was playing in the men’s comp! That they did not want to go hard on me, that they could not go “through me” , and that they could not “hurt me”. I had bruises to show otherwise.
My first reaction was somehow neutral. Could not say the same about my male teammates. Before the tournament we had played together on every Sunday and they knew that I was good enough. They knew and trusted me to run the centre midfield on Sundays and during this particular tournament. In fact I was the captain of our team. So the only words that came out of their mouths were: ‘’Don't listen to those sexists c***s.’’
Those opponents said that they will make a complaint to Football Federation that I played. We said to go ahead as we did not believe that they will go through with it. But returning on next Wednesday, we could not believe that they actually had made a complaint.
Organisers witnessed the first game and they supported us, but said that we have to obtain a separate permission from the Football Federation in order for me to continue playing during this tournament. Little did I know that my teammate was already going back and forth with the Federation regarding this issue. He managed to get the separate permission for me with an explanation that I am good enough to play with them. He stressed so many times that this was a win for equality.
But still I had to go and ask from our next opponents if it was fine with them that I played. Their only answer was: ‘’Yes, what’s the problem?’'
I was pleasantly surprised from their response and that somehow gave me hope that men who made that complaint were just a small drop of wastewater in a big pond of crystal clear water. We started the game, it was a good football match, me scoring the first goal. We won. After the game men came and thanked me for a great performance.
That night I went home, and I should have been happy, but I felt very unease. I could not put my finger on it exactly why. Until it hit me like a ton of bricks. One word had creeped into my mind that had never found its way there before, and that word was DISCRIMINATION.
Yes, I have gone through some situations during the years I have played with men, but I never thought of them as something out of the ordinary. For example those typical shower jokes: 'You play with us, you have to shower with us,’ when in reality I had to change clothes either in a freezing cold or a super hot car.
This time was different. This tournament was the first time someone made comments AFTER they had seen me playing. Usually those judgmental looks disappear after my first touch, pass or a tackle. But never had anyone ever made a complaint to a higher organisation. My teammates said that the only reason for that kind of behaviour was that hey did not win a team that had a girl playing in it and they felt ashamed. And striving for the win through a complaint and getting the game results cancelled, was their way of getting their dignity back.
After letting those feelings settle in, I decided it’s time to tell what’s on my mind.
Yes, women are created to be physically weaker than men, that’s just a simple biology. But that means we work twice as hard to achieve physically what men do. I chose men’s game because it is challenging, faster and much more physical. And I certainly know what I am dealing with when I step on that field full of men, who are bigger and physically stronger than me. I know it all. But one thing that you may not acknowledge, is that having physical traits that make you stronger, do not make you more skilful, more passionate about the game, or having a better game intelligence. Those traits come with hard work, countless hours you put in for the love of the game.
I could choose the path where I would say those men who made the complaint, are not worthy of playing with me as they could not handle ‘the girl’. But I won’t as I think it would just take us few steps back as we both would find our reasonings why one should or should not play with another.
Instead I want to break the old conception that divides sports, or anything in life, by gender. Manchester City came out with a brilliant campaign SAME CITY, SAME PASSION, in order to promote the women’s game and to demonstrate the same skills, same excitement and same passion exists wherever the ball is kicked.
Please definitely take a look.
https://www.mancity.com/news/club-news/club-news/2018/january/man-city-same-city-same-passion-social-media
Just so simple and yet so brilliant. If you take one thing out of this reading, I wish it to be is that it’s not women’s or men’s football. It’s just football!
It’s about skills, smart decisions, hard work and PASSION. Football does’t choose gender, we choose football. We have to change the mentality that football is not for girls and women. And I am taking the step further already saying that girls should play with boys, and women can play with men!
So please, let’s not have the assumptions based on gender. Let the game show if someone is good enough to play at a certain level and a team, regardless of the sex.
I have only one thing left to say. Just play!
