My very first post addressed the issue of a gender inequality on the football field. Some thoughts might repeat themselves, but I will drill a bit deeper to find out how come I have ended up playing football with men. I also warn you that I have several post coming up related to this topic. I just started writing and did not know that my fingers will type so much as my brain just kept on feeding the ideas. So bare with me as I promise there will be other topics as well.
But before we proceed, I’ll provide some links that I deeply recommend to have a look at.
MY FIRST POST (for those who missed it) - Why? You will get a glimpse of the social football game that permanently changed the balance of men’s and women’s football game for me and is the reason behind the following words.
https://steemit.com/equality/@blue-rose/breaking-the-gender-barriers-in-sports
SAME CITY, SAME PASSION - Marvellous campaign by Manchester City to promote women’s football game. I just love the saying: it’s not women’s or men’s football, it’s just football.
And let's throw in a movie here as well: BATTLE OF SEXES (Stars Emma Stone and Steve Carell). A great movie addressing inequality issues in tennis in 1973.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_the_Sexes_(film)
Here we go, now we can proceed. Many people have asked me, either with just a curiosity, judgment or by accident: why do you play with men? The most memorable reaction was from a women who genuinely asked: ‘’Are men really that bad that they have a woman playing with them?’' A normal person would have taken it as an insult, or would have just ignored it. I on the other hand, have grown a thick skin and answered: ‘’No, I am just that good!’'
It’s sad that society has made us, females, believe that we really are a weaker sex, and that we need men to be taken care of, and that men would always be superiors. Here I have to mention how I love the way Emma Watson compares feminism with equality and she encourages young girls to live up to their potential.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/eleanorbate/emma-watson-feminism-quotes?utm_term=.rjm4MkZmW#.hoN8z76Yg
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/mar/05/emma-watson-vanity-fair-cover-feminism
Haven’t I done the same? Being a little girl, 8-years old, playing football with grown men as the only female? And just telling my mother to leave me alone when she came and told me to leave the football field immediately as I was the only girl playing.
I did not have a choice as I grew up in a small place where football was the main sport, and unfortunately not many girls fancied to play the game. There were some, but as soon as the teenage years kicked it, they chose another path. I did not.
The love and passion for football was my drive. And every time someone wanted to play basketball instead of football, they were aware of my fury to come. So every other sport barely existed for us.
I was lucky as having some sort of isolation from the world benefited me as boys and men took it as a norm to have a girl on the field. I was a really good player, a tiny defender who was usually a first pick. There was no room for discrimination, neither the knowledge of what it meant.
I did not have a choice as a girl born in a small village. I could say that I had a choice when I turned into a teenager and started playing for a small town girl’s team, but the truth is, I did not have it then either. I was fifteen and most of our girls hit those years where partying and opposite sex was much more interesting than chasing the ball. I could balance them both, but 95% of my teammates couldn’t and they didn’t. So me and few other girls had to train and play with the men’s team. We loved it and didn’t mind it as we were always striving to become better in football. And yes, even if it was not our choice to start playing with men, as you really cannot play football with 2-3 girls, then in later years it became my choice to play with the men’s team, no matter what it took.
Why? This word ‘why’ has been involved in my conversations way too many times.. And saying that a heart wants what it wants was an answer not sufficient enough. It was when I stumbled on Emma Watson’s words and I realised that I was always trying to live up to my potential. And I happened to be so good in football that playing with girls seemed too easy. I have always been a stubborn child because I knew what I wanted and I always was ready to work hard to achieve it. And having grown men as my opponents was my idea of having it my way.
Men’s team gave me that opportunity as I always have lived by the saying that you’d rather be the weakest one in a strong team, than the strongest one in the weak team. I took those words as a gold. Only recently I realised that what I was subconsciously fighting for was also the EQUALITY. As a young girl I did not know the meaning of discrimination or equality. When something difficult happened in terms of gender inequality, I just did not let it bother me and tried to change it. Some people laughed, some got furious, some just ignored me.
I have many real life examples of gender discrimination I have gone through and the way I fought against them. In football world it has been quite easy: I just take the ball, show my skills and score.
As I said that in the years to come, it was my choice, when I went to university and called a men’s team I wanted to join and I was declined with a simple reason: I was a girl. It was not good enough for them that I had played with men for several years. Eventually it took me 6 months to find my way into that team. I was given 2-weeks trial (that I did not know about) and ended up playing with them for 2 years.
I thought that getting into their team was the hardest part, but no. I found the hardest part making my teammates to pass the ball to me or make an effort to take the ball away from me. It took me months until men started passing to me. Why so long? Because I had to get the ball with a tackle and then give a good pass showing that I had what it took because clearly having perfect runs and being at the perfect spot was not good enough for them as the moment they were ready to pass, they realised it was me, a girl, and turned the opposite way and passing the ball to where where it came from.
Sometimes I was dribbling and had to stop to see if men were even making an effort to take the ball away from me. It did also happen that I just kicked the ball away furiously saying that ‘you could at least try’. Every time after the practice I analysed what I had learned and did well or not that well. But absolutely every time I came to the positive results, I was doubting myself if it was the result of my skills or lack of men’s efforts.
But in months I was a trusted player. But every time a new player came to our practice, it was like we were back to a square one, where those players did not pass to me. This time it was easier as my teammates told the new players off if they did not pass to me. Like ‘ can’t you see, she’s in a perfect position to score’ etc.
I did play for women’s team, but it was not enough. After 1,5 hours of women’s practice I ran straight to men’s practice, having a 3 hours practice in a row. Why? I just did not feel I was even slightly tired after women’s practice and I need more, and more.
Over the years I have played for 5 different men’s team, and it was the same with each one of them. It took too much precious time to prove that I was worthy of their passes. It’s ridiculous and I give an ultimate respect to a younger me for never stopping. But that’s what happens with many-many other girls and women. They cannot be a part of the joy and happiness offered by football or any other sport that is considered to be too masculine.
I am not saying that you have to play with men, the choice I had made to reach my full potential, but unfortunately girls are being even judged for just playing the game, even between themselves. Why? Because this is masculine? This image of masculinity was set by men many years ago and females over decades have grown to believe it.
I am so grateful to live in the world that is changing and joy of football is becoming available to everyone. At the moment it is not totally judgment free and it will take years to become one, but we are moving at a right direction!
