Hi all! I hope everyone had a good christmas and are gearing up for a relaxing new years break too.
I thought I'd share a few thoughts of mine with what I'd been watching and listening to lately, namely about what it looks like, understanding what it's like to be female in the 21st century, from a 25 year old Australian dad-to-be. To be fair, it's obvious that over the last 40 years women's rights have moved in the right direction, although I think there are still problems that modern women face, which isn't relevant to legal rights and obligations, but the culture amongst themselves.
Kate Mulgrew, who played captain Kathryn Janeway on Star Trek Voyager, was the only female captain to be cast in any Star Trek series, and has been interviewed many times about what it was like to represent the first female star fleet captain.
I was watching a Documentary by William Shatner, called The Captains. It was interesting to listen to her outlook on how it impacted her life beyond her work as an actress;
Explaining about how her focus so strongly on her career, that she never spent time with her kids, and they resent her for committing so much to her career, resenting to the point that her children have never even watched Star Trek Voyager.I was also browsing through Quora, and came across the question "What is the biggest mistake you regret in your 30's?"
A lady by the name of Alison had written the below post:
While she was trying to keep in good shape by running, she ended up risking her baby.
I sold my shares in an Australian power and gas company, AGL, because one of their board members, Diane Smith-Gander, had signed off on some unethical business practices.
She was an executive board member of AGL, and was also the director and executive board member of an Australian project management and infrastructure company, Broadspectrum. Earlier this year, she sold Broadspectrum to a Spanish company, Ferrovial. The decision was made because Broadspectrum was then able to downsize and move their non-core business processes offshore to Spain. It resulted in 4000 Australians losing their jobs, and resulted in Broadspectrum shares to spike, benefitting the shareholders.
I was made aware of this when I was working to fill a role for a client, and I received over 90 applications for a very specific vacancy (IT infrastructure project manager), as the entire PM team at Broadspectrum was told they will be made redundant within 30 days. I was trying to help Australian mums and dads to find work, but there simply was no work available for them. I started to worry about their mortgages, their kids, bills they had to pay, all of these sorts of decisions which were manageable without the decision that Diane made at Broadspectrum.
Once she started making decisions to prepare to sell AGL for similar results, I sold my shares as I decided she was not going to act in the best interests of the shareholders.
My partner has been bullied to the point she has also deactivated her Facebook. Her bullies were other pregnant women.
Every day I look at Erin, she gets more and more beautiful. I came home the other day to her being rather distressed. The reason she was distressed was because she was asked to prove in a private group for expecting mothers that she will not be giving her child vaccinations.
If she did not prove this, she was going to be booted from the group, and have her profile information shared around being labeled as giving our child Autism. That's right, she was told to submit to the anti-vaxxers, or they would name and shame her for not being part of their agenda. She was also asked to submit proof that she was part of their agenda.
As well as this, she was invited to a meetup to catch up with other expecting mothers. She asked if I can come along, and as soon as she asked that, she was told that she was not going to be welcome any more, as many expecting mothers do not believe that men should be part of their activities. When she told me this she was upset, because we've been so close (never had a single fight since dating) and I've been so involved with the pregnancy and assisting her in every way preparing for when baby is born; because the baby isn't just hers, it's a team effort for the both of us. If she's carrying the baby then helping out a lot extra with bills and housework is the least I could do.
The final straw for her was when she told some of her workmates that after March, she is quitting work to look after the baby full time. They had told her that it's the quitters way out (Girls who have never been pregnant as well) because we don't live in the 1950's anymore, and women can work and have babies at the same time.
Truth is, if we both want our baby to have an awesome upbringing and be raised in a great environment, then we'll make sacrifices so that baby comes first, before career or anything else.
Which brings me to the point: Women in the 21st century can do anything a man can do. But I don't think that means they HAVE to do everything a man can do. They should have the option, but they shouldn't be pressured into proving to other people they can do anything a man can.
It made me think.
Women in the 21st century STILL have a lot more pressures on them than men do. However, the pressure is from them being expected to do everything a man can at the same time as raising children. Which just isn't fair on them.
But it's the other women who are pressuring each other to keep up with the times, when it isn't even necessary. To shame someone for wanting to stay at home looking after the baby instead of having a high career status isn't something that's brought on from lack of options but it's from slow social evolution stating that women SHOULD be aiming for high-flying careers because they now have the option.
When women like Kate Mulgrew say in hindsight that they regret their career coming before their children really speaks to me, and I'd hope it speaks to other women too who plan on having a family one day.
When executive women like Diane Smith-Gander are financially hurting families for her own personal career growth, it also tells me that women with equal rights should also have equal accountability and responsibility.
When my own partner carrying my baby is shamed and bullied for making her own choice even if it isn't seen as the popular choice by other women, it tells me that maybe other women should stop going with the crowd and making their decisions based on what the majority of other women are doing. You have choices to make and you should never be criticised for your decisions if they aren't with the populous.
Hope you all enjoy your new years break!