Islam respects the role of parents and also values children's choices. In Islam, there is a balance of roles between parents and children. A child in Islam is entitled to choose his own choice, but parents should also be informed about the prospective spouse him.
Parents should accept their child's choice if it qualifies, ie his religion is good, and from good families. So also children should accept the choice of parents if judged good in terms of religion. It is best for a child to understand the will of the parents when determining the prospective partner so that there is no need to clash.
In Islam, prohibition for parents who prevent their children from marrying only because the prospective partner of his child is poor or less capable people in terms of material, low rank, not from the noble family, not a child of character, the education is not high, not from a particular tribe, and where he lives far away.
When a parent (guardian) marries his daughter with a tyrannical or wicked man or a drunkard, it means that he has committed an ungodly deed to his religion and is willing to accept God's curse, for he has broken his family by choosing an evil husband for his daughter.
In certain circumstances, where a child has difficulty getting his soul mate, the parents are required to play the role of choosing a mate for their child.
For example is the story of Abdullah bin Abu Wada'ah. Abdullah was the faithful servant of Imam Sa'id bin Musayab. After Abdullah's wife died, Sa'id met him and asked, "Are not you looking for a substitute for your wife?" Abdullah said, "Who is the woman who wants to marry me while I only have 2 or 3 dirhams?" Sa'id said, "I will marry you".
Then Imam Sa'id bin Musayab say "tahmid" to Allah and married Abdullah with a dowry of 2 dirhams. A moment later Abdullah performed the maghrib's pray and went home. At that time he was fasting and was preparing to break with bread and olives. When he was breaking fast, someone knocked on his door, it was Sa'id bin Musayab. "What can I do for you?" Abdullah asked. "Are not you single and married but your wife died? I feel worried if you are alone tonight, and this is your new wife", replied Imam Sa'id bin Musayab.
Behind Sa'id had stood a woman, then asked to go forward and handed over to Abdullah. With a sharp, meticulous look, Abdullah stared at her. Immediately he went upstairs to give an invitation sign to his neighbor. A moment later the neighbors gathered with wonder. "My brothers, today, I have been married by Sa'id bin Musayab with his daughter", Abdullah explained.
Abdullah ibn Sulaiman once told him that Sa'id bin Musayab's daughter married to Abdullah bin Wada'ah was once applied for marriage by Abdul Malik bin Marwan, the ruler at that time, to be married to his son Walid. But Sa'id did not accept the proposal, instead married his daughter to an ordinary man, not rich, obedient to God.
It is an example of a marriage process undertaken by the woman father. All done by the father of the woman, since and the process of mate selection until the implementation of the marriage ceremony implemented by the father of the woman.
