I went to Amsterdam last semester with some friends, and obviously the first thing we did after we arrived at our Hostel and unpacked was go out and explore the city, which is the more kid-friendly way of saying that we went searching for weed.
In Amsterdam, coffeeshops are essentially marijuana dispensaries, and the one we found had an amazing selection of different strands that we could try.
After 4 days of enjoying the sights and sounds of the city while stoned off our asses, before we knew it it was time to go home.
Our flight wasn’t at 6pm, and so we decided to pass the time by going to the Vincent Van Gogh museum. The problem was that I’d forgotten to buy my ticket online, and they were sold out when we got there, and so I couldn't’ get in. S’all good though, because while my friends were in the museum I decided to explore the city a bit more, which is the kid-friendly way of saying that I went searching for a coffeeshop so that I could buy edibles. Eventually I found a coffeeshop, bought two chocolate cake edible-thingies, and then started walking back toward the museum to meet up with everyone else after they’d finished their tour.
Now, prior to this whole experience, I’d never taken edibles before, and so I didn’t know that they take around an hour to an hour and a half to kick in, and I also didn’t know that you’re not supposed to take more than one.
I ate both within a half hour-span because I hadn’t eaten anything all day and I was really hungry.
Not my best idea ever.
Not long afterward, my friends came out of the museum and we got lunch at a Ramen chain restaurant. I order food and some water, and then at some point while I was eating, I don’t exactly remember when, the edibles hit me like a freight train, which is the kid-friendly way of saying I fucked up.
It felt like I was stuck in a really shitty virtual reality game with a tons of lag and also I hadn’t slept in 12 years.
Yeah, definitely not my best idea ever.
My friends also had no idea that I’d bought and eaten edibles while they were in the museum, and so they were really confused about why I kept laughing uncontrollably like an insane person everytime I heard a noise.
They weren’t happy.
Also I’d forgotten that our flight left in 4 hours.
Again, not my best idea ever.
Somehow they managed to get me to the airport and through security without any mishaps; don’t ask me how because was stuck in this Schrodinger’s Cat-esque state where I was both awake and asleep simultaneously, and everything was kind of a blur.
Then once I got on the plane, I sat down and forgot why I was supposed to be on the plane, and I somehow convinced myself that I must be the pilot, but then I got all nervous and started freaking out because I had no idea how to fly a plane, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want people to be mad at me, so I was just like “You only YOLO once” and tried giving it my best shot.
So I stuck out my arms and grabbed onto an imaginary steering wheel, and then once I could geel the plane starting to move, I stopped on the ground where the gas pedal would be located had I been driving a car. Also apparently cars don’t work the same way planes do.
Once the plane took off from the runway I was like “Yeah! I did it!” but then while we were in the air I realized that if I wasn’t careful, I would crash the plane and kill every passenger on board, so I got really stressed out and knew I had to focus.
For two and a half hours, I sat in my seat holding onto an invisible steeting wheel that was in front of me and making airplane noises like a toddler. I think I really freaked out the people next to me.
Luckily the plane landed safely and no one died, so I was pretty relieved.
In hindsight, taking two edibles at once probably my best idea. That being said, those edibles were both the best and worst 10 euros I’ve ever spent.
Overall I give the experience a 6/10.
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