Did you know that complaining about things can severely damage your productivity, health, and life in general? People who complain about almost everything on a consistent basis are disposed to poor health, have shorter and less satisfying romantic relationships, and tend not to do well at school and at the workplace.
Why Do People Complain?
Most people are not aware how often they complain as it becomes a habit. Like all habits, complaining becomes familiar and it tends to be invisible. Also, most people find that complaining is a good conversation starter. It is easy to find a common ground for complaining. On top of all, people complain because they seek validation for their beliefs.
You may think that by complaining, you’re observing your surroundings. However, complaining is not making an observation or a creative act. Complaining reinforces your negative thoughts. The more you complain, the more you attract the negative thoughts about the thing that you’re complaining about. Experts claim that when you complain, you’re creating a map of what you perceive reality to be. Doing this makes you dwell on negative thoughts and supports things that you don’t like. Complaining also hinders you from doing actions.
It can give reasons to delay things and keep you from achieving your goals. In fact, complaining is much easier to do than to find a solution for the problem.
People also complain to avoid responsibility. For instance, you arrive at work or at school late and your excuse is that the line at the pharmacy was way too long or the traffic was terrible, or the wait for the gas station took forever. Sure, these things happen, but you could have avoided these things if you would have been more prepared or left earlier from home.
People who often complain are at high risk of being trapped in a negative reality, which gives them more things to complain about. People who are constant complainers have endless reasons for their circumstances. They often say “I never really had any breaks”, “I always have bad luck”, or “Life is totally unfair”. People who always complain feel that their circumstances are unfortunate and beyond their control. However, this is not true. Their mindset on things needs an update as they have created their reality agreeing to their negative thoughts.
Although complaining is a negative attitude, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It just puts you in a situation where you cannot live an exceptional lifestyle.
How to Break the Habit of Complaining
Complaining is one of the biggest ingredients that will make you lose your self-esteem and courage. It takes away your confidence and makes doing things more difficult. Fortunately, there are ways you can stop this habit and manage your way of thinking.
• Be Aware – The first step to breaking this habit is to be aware of when you complain. Commit to observing yourself for the next twenty-four hours and when you realize that you begin to complain about something to someone, stop it.
• Taking Responsibility – Taking responsibility is another step to breaking this habit. Taking responsibility doesn’t mean that you have to beat yourself up. It simply means that you are aware of the negative thoughts in your mind and you want to make it clear that those thoughts are not you. They are only thoughts. When you accept that you create those thoughts, you can actually change them. Find some time to ask yourself about your positive intentions. Your answer will help you do the next step.
• Focus on Your Goals – When you find yourself complaining, take time to observe your complaint and think of the reason why you are doing it. What is it that you are trying to achieve by complaining?
Once you learn these things, you can learn how to replace your negative thoughts with positive alternatives. When the things that you want are clear to you, finding solutions becomes easy. You can determine the right actions to take.