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Google search history from those last few weeks of pregnancy:
"Labour signs", "What do contractions feel like", "How to induce labour naturally", and lastly "Am I in labour??!!"
So everyone tells you, "Don't worry, you'll know when you go into labour." Truth is, unless your water breaks immediately or your contractions are perfectly timed- as a first time mom, you probably won't know you're in labour until you're way in.
And that brings us to the BIG DEAL- the birth.
There we are trying to time my contractions but they were so irregular and yet SO PAINFUL! "Are Braxton Hicks supposed to make her cry?" my partner asks the midwife. "No. Put her in a warm bath. Looks like we'll have a baby before the sun is up." And sitting on the closed toilet seat, waiting for the bath water to fill up, I leaned back in an effort to get comfortable, knocking the handle and triggering the toilet to slightly flush. "Was that your water that just broke?!!" It looked like he was the one having the baby.
And so after the bath (to slow down the contractions), I felt normal again. The pain was gone. MY CONTRACTIONS WERE GONE.
Now, in no rush to get to the birthing centre, I took my time putting on fresh clothes, brushed my hair - because who doesn't want to look a little glamorous when their baby arrives?
Little did I know I would still wait two hours for my water to break and then an extended excruciating hour and a half of pushing before holding my baby in my arms. In those few hours, I asked myself what possessed me to choose this route, why on Earth was the baby not coming out already and is this what death feels like? I vowed not to have another baby. My partner also asked me the same day if I would do it again and my obvious answer was, "NEVER."
But thinking back on it a week later, when you hold that baby in your arms for the first time - your pain immediately subsides, you feel like a superhero and knowing you helped create this little human - every twinge of pain is all worth it. There is no way to describe the feeling that fills your heart. I would do it over and over if it means experiencing that feeling again.
I chose a water birth purely because of the privacy, the intimacy between Mom, Dad and baby and also because it's something more on the natural side.
Waterbirth, if you don't already know, is an unmedicated procedure.
So what makes it so special?
The fact that you don't have medication allows you to feel every thing. I mean EVERY THING. Not only is this a daunting thought, but it's EMPOWERING. It doesn't matter how strong you think you are - unless you have pushed a child out of your body, you don't realise how strong you really are.
The bond that you are able to form with your baba is instant and the inclusion of Dad is also major. (Even Dad gets immediate skin to skin cuddles with baba while the full labour is completed!)
Lastly, the look Dad gives Mom afterwards is that of awe, amazement, pure RESPECT.
And yes girl, you're allowed to take it and own it!
I would love to hear your stories too, so if you're willing to share - please do!