We often confuse people’s good gesture for an ulterior motive. Most of us, including me, we have been guilty of that. We sometimes second guess people’s intentions and I don’t know if it has anything to do with trust issues. I wouldn’t call it trust issues anyway, I would rather say it depends on what we have been exposed to overtime.
Our experiences shape us. I talk more about building ourselves up on the inside because everything we can ever be stems from this. Once we work upon ourselves from the inside, it is hard to keep the glow away from the outside. We become beautiful from inside out, not always outside in.
With a better mindset, I have come to learn that we tend to do more than we initially thought that we can. Okay, let me come back, hahaha.
Our experiences (either things that happened to us or things we have come to hear), shape how we see things. Our constant exposure to a certain view shapes how we view things and it soon becomes our reality.
Imagine a lady who always gets heartbroken due to constant lies from her past boyfriends. It is so hard for you to convince her that not all guys are the same. For such a lady, if she has a friend and that friend shared a discussion she had with her boyfriend, you know the kind of advice that will come from her. Such a lady will find it so hard to trust anything a guy tells her or her friends until she is able to confirm it. With gradual confirmation of the things you tell her, she tends to build up little by little again.
The same can be said about a guy, who got heartbroken many times due to a cheating partner. He will also naturally form his opinion on who ladies are and would also advise his fellow friends based on his own exposure. If he managed to fall in love again and for one reason or the other, the lady’s phone isn’t reachable, or it rang, and it later went off due to low battery, you can understand the kind of thoughts that would spring up right inside him. You wouldn’t understand why he would escalate such an issue with his girlfriend. He might not even accept her reasons as genuine.
The little exposures we have been having here and there always form their opinions in our minds. It is always our choice to accept it as our reality.
When you sometimes gift people something, they tend to feel a bit reluctant in collecting it, maybe they have this exposure whereby they think nothing is for free. I would never blame them. I have given things out many times and after they feel reluctant in collecting it, they think I will place a demand on something. Hahaha.
I have come to understand that giving is an art, so is receiving. I receive without reservations hahaha and I give without reservations too. We should try to stop second-guessing every intention. I know it might take a while and we are, of course, trying to guard our hearts, but I will say, be open and follow your heart without any prior mindset. You always have the choice to say “No,” even afterward.
You will understand why I came up with this message in the next one.
...to be continued...
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.