"I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER." Groucho Marx
I left Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and here’s what happened:
For personal and ethical reasons I have been working my way towards leaving "the Big Three" for quite a long time.
I have had about 6 Twitter accounts and deleted them all within a week or less of having them. Then against my better judgment and someone's advice I'd make another account, participate for a little while only to delete it again.
I got tired of the drama, the political backbiting, the name calling, fighting, arguing and the seeming lust for 15 minutes of fame.
I also got uncomfortable with reading so many people's deepest, darkest, personal secrets.
My heart goes out to anyone dealing with life challenges. I'm just not sure I want to be privy to all of that information.
I guess they aren't so secret since they are being displayed all over the Internet.
I’m not certain that people understand when you post online to any social media that it’s accessible by anyone, even if you mark it friends only.
The fact that Facebook has over 3 billion users means it is pervasive worldwide. It also means that what you post to your “friends” is not just to your friends. Anyone can read your posts via your friends.
SO it’s to the world.
People have gotten fired from their jobs for posts on the leading social media. People I know! Mostly for their 3 am intoxicated rants about this, that or the other thing. (That reminds me of someone but I can't for the life of me recall who that is.)
People have been caught breaking the law, and cheating on their partners on social media.
They also allow graphic videos of violence, murder and in some instances videos that are just this side of pornographic. (If we want to watch porn it's easy to find. I guess not easy enough if it's all over social media.)
There's lots of sex, sexual Innuendo, profanity, and near nudity Oh, who am I trying to kid? Nudity. Again, isn't there Hamster X for that? I'm just sayin'.
Don’t get me wrong I love the human body. I think nudity is gorgeous, and sex is amazing, but there are some great and not so great ways to express it.
Then there is the ethical issue. The issue of media dominance, and allowing horrible atrocities to be posted. Not to mention election improprieties, bullying, lying and covering up of said lies.
Yep, gonna tell you exactly how I really feel!
Look, this is ME, not anyone else. This is what works and does not work for me.
This may or may not bother or resonate with you.
AND THAT IS FINE!
That’s what bothers me about the three amigos.
Here is what I loved about it:
I made a couple of friends in the 9 years I was on it.
I got several introductions to potential jobs.
I saw wonderful photos, reconnected with friends, classmates, colleagues, and distant family.
I experienced vicariously the adventures, trials, tribulations, successes and failures of the aforementioned people.
I shared, collaborated and commiserated.
I also wasted A LOT of time.
Ok, that may not be a plus...
Here is what happened the couple of times I posted that I was leaving (was I crying wolf? I guess not since the wolf has left the building. Sorry, mixed metaphor.)
I was asked not to go. I was told that what I posted was really appreciated. How was I going to keep up with everyone? How would I know when there are events, parties, births, and reunions? The state of the country? Won't it affect my business, or work? How can I live when "everyone", and the most important news, announcements, connections, etc., are on these particular social medias? Aren't I afraid I will be looked at as an outcast? Or with suspicion? How can I be much of a teacher, writer, artist if I'm not on said social media? Only legitimate businesses and people are on the big social media, especially Facebook. (You can't have a business page without a personal page. Nah, I'll pass.)
Okaaaay...
Here is what happened when I actually left:
Of the original 3000 people who were my Facebook "friends", I whittled those down to 1800 (this was the beginning of the end), then to 1200, then to 800. I knew each and every one of them. Maybe we weren't pals or close but knew them all personally.
I gathered emails and phone numbers, posted my website, where to find my writing on other websites and my LinkedIn page link.
I downloaded my archive.
I made a commitment to connect in different ways with my connections.
Then one day I just left.
No fanfare.
No parting gifts.
Just poof.
Mind you, this was not without Facebook specifically asking me about half a dozen times if I knew what I was doing? They posted photos of my friends telling me who would miss me. (Those who really ARE my friends actually have a life with me outside of Facebook.)
"Are you sure you want to leave? You will miss out on x, y or z..."
In the final stages I could deactivate my account and it would take two weeks for it to be deleted.
Maybe this would lead to second thoughts and in a moment of weakness I would log on and that would start the two week clock ticking again.
This time there was nothing anyone could say that would change my mind.
I had already moved on and broken the addiction(s).
And it WAS an addiction.
I wasn't on the big three every day but I fell into the "check in" trap when I could have been doing so many other things.
LIKE just sitting there and taking a few deep breaths,
OR
getting on a yoga mat and stretching for a few minutes,
OR
picking up the phone, texting, calling or SKYPING with someone,
OR WRITING!!!!!
So what REALLY happened?
NOTHING!
NOT A DAMN THING.
People I was already in touch with outside of the triad have stayed in touch with me.
Most people that were not in touch with me outside of the trinity have not communicated with me.
AND THAT'S OK!!
There are plenty of ways to communicate with me if desired.
I haven't eradicated my presence online or through social media. I'm just selective.
It hasn't affected my writing, or travel endeavors whatsoever.
As a matter of fact, I have taken up a few more percussion instruments. I spend a lot more time writing, meditating, AND DANCING!!
I am learning new languages, and strengthening my relationships one-on-one.
Sure, there are those who told me that they only used (fill in the blank), and only messaged and communicated via F, I or T.
That had no effect on me.
That is their choice and this is mine.
I sent a newsletter to 161 people, including many from my F, I and T days. I heard from about 30 of them. Some told me personally, later on, that they had read my newsletter and enjoyed it.
YAY.
I understand there are those who need the interaction of the biggest social medias, for whatever reason.
I don't judge. Use it as you see fit. (No pun intended.)
These platforms are happy to have as many members as possible.
Members mean money, and lots of it.
It's business. Just business.
For each attrition there are new users.
The triad isn't going anywhere anytime soon.
The sun will still rise regardless of click, comment or swipe.
As always, thanks for reading.
See you next week.