What happens when two personalities on the extreme ends of the personality spectrum end up together? Would they prove the saying that opposites attract or would they totally debunk that saying that seems to rule a lot of people’s dating lives? In this case, we would be talking about two of the most opposite personalities that we can ever have, the narcissist and the empath. What happens if these two very different and very opposite personalities give it a go? Does it end up being a fairytale? Do they compliment each other perfectly, making up for each other’s shortcomings or does it end up being an absolute failure? We will find out at the end of this article so keep reading.
Before we begin to analyze this relationship, I would like to explain both personalities. Who is a narcissist?
A narcissist is a person who suffers from the mental disorder, the narcissistic personality disorder which is characterized mainly by a shocking lack of empathy and grandiose sense of self. Narcissists are known to only love themselves, and perhaps this is where their lack of empathy stems from because you cannot empathize with someone or something that you don’t feel anything for. In addition to that, narcissist people are very manipulative people who excel at the game of pretense. They are very wily and cunny people who lack even the most basic of scruples that every human being should have. They have been known to do anything to get what they want regardless of who gets hurt in the process, and that is not where that bad behaviors end. Narcissistic people are very abusive people who make the abuse so much more damaging if the fact that they hardly physically abuse their victims. Rather they prefer to employ the use of emotional and psychological abuse which is far more damaging than physical abuse because it does not target the skin or the bones rather it goes straight for the heart of a person; it goes for their psyche. Some of the employees include gaslighting and neglect to their partners, and this is why whenever someone has left a narcissist they come out with scars, emotional scars which might take them a very long time to get over. So, basically, a narcissist just fucks people up. You might say that a narcissist is an emotionally crippled person. They just do not know how to articulate or express emotions. Narcissists are mostly formed from horrible childhood experiences. They might have grown up being overlooked and treated as a poor substitute.
On the other hand, who is an empath? This one is easy. And empathy in every way possible is the direct opposite of a narcissist. They are special people in the world who have a very sensitive nature that makes them come across as extremely caring. Empaths have been known to absorb the feelings of people who surround them. They are able to step into the shoes of other people and feel the emotions of those other people almost exactly as if they were the person. Their very sensitive nature marks them out and endears them to people. Empaths are known to love nature and on several occasions have displayed a special bond with animals, and we all know that animals can look into the soul of a person to make good character judgments. Empaths are so kind and loving that they simply cannot say no to anyone in need. They have a deep need to take care of everyone. This is a blessing and a curse all wrapped up in one. A blessing because it means that people who need help get it while it is a curse because they can be swindled with any sob story.
So, what happens if these two different personalities come together? I’ll tell you. A match made in hell complete with the sparks and the burning fire of passion.
You might be wondering why a relationship between these two people would not work out well especially when the empath complements the narcissist in every way. The empath is the light personality to the narcissistic person’s dark personality. She is emotion personified to the narcissist’s utter lack of emotion. They should be a perfect couple. They are in the narcissistic person’s eyes.
Why this relationship would be such an epic disaster that would not end well for the empath and not the narcissist is because empaths feel a lot while narcissistic people don’t. The major thing is that the empath always sees the good in someone and never the bad and so try as she may, she cannot see how bad you would be for her and with her. And because of this, the narcissist finds it even easier to manipulate them.
The narcissist, on the other hand, realizes that the empath is someone who is interested in healing them and making life easier for them. The empath also hates quarrels and confrontations and would most likely be hesitant to instigate any quarrels. The empaths bleeding heart would also be a plus because it means that they would be easier to get away with almost anything they do.
This relationship would not work because while the empath sees the narcissist as a hurt man who is lashing out and needs love, the narcissist sees the empath as another person to manipulate and another face in the long line of exes.
In this relationship, the narcissistic partner would constantly hurt the empath through their actions or inactions and would see it as a game to hurt them and play with their feelings. The empath, on the other hand, can sense a great deal of pain and although they might want to call it quits, they just can’t. They want to get to the bottom of the sadness in their partner’s eyes. They want to heal their partner, and on the few occasions that they have mustered up the courage to walk away, all it takes is a heartfelt plea from the narcissist to change their mind. It’s a sad and very draining circle.
The empath wants to believe that everybody has a good side of them. One that they must be hiding underneath what personality is used to describe them. So deep down, an empath doesn’t think that someone would hurt her because everyone is inherently good. This major flaw in thinking is what would let the narcissist have an easy time of it manipulating them.
A narcissist thinks differently from the empath. Where the empath is as transparent as glass, bearing no ulterior motives, the narcissist is clearly on a mission to totally manipulate and gain control of the empath. At the end of the day, the narcissist hopes to achieve total control something or someone, and an empath would never be a part of that.
However, if a relationship does finally ensue between a narcissist and an empath, it would be a full-blown toxic relationship that would leave the empath an emotional mess at the end of the relationship. It would be a typical parasitic relationship with the narcissist feeding on everything that is good about the empath and then throwing away the husks when they are done. It would typically go this way. The empath would try her best to make the narcissist feel important and loved, thus giving the narcissist the validation and admiration that he lives for while the narcissist gives the empath nothing more than neglect and abuse. Soon, it becomes a terrible unending circle.
Before long, the empath would begin to look sad and unfulfilled in that relationship. They would soon get accustomed to being treated like nothing and might even develop some narcissistic traits to help them get through the ordeal. However, what is totally surprising is that as the empath gets sadder and sadder, the narcissist gets happier and happier.
Hopefully, the empath would reach the stage where they realize that they deserve way better than what they are getting with the narcissist. They would realize that they have become the very thing that they are trying to change. The only problem is that the empaths usually reach this state of mind when they are so much worse because they wanted to give it a true chance.
That is how a relationship between these two people would most probably look like. Anyway, how can a bruised empath coming from a toxic relation start healing?
The first rule of leaving a narcissistic relationship is to keep quiet about your plans, and this is because the narcissistic partner would do everything in his power and even beyond his power to make sure that you are stuck in that relationship so an empath should not give the narcissist any idea of the plan to leave. Just do it.
The empath has to realize that they deserve better and should walk away now because no relationship with a narcissistic person would turn out well.
This note of advice is for the empaths. The narcissist would not change, it is not in their nature to change. Don’t wait for the pot at the end of the rainbow. Get out of that relationship; things aren’t going to get better; they are going to get worse. Stop trying to change; their mental illness is not something that can be fixed.
Sources : http://www.youcantbreakme.co/health/what-actually-happens-when-an-empath-and-a-narcissist-start-a-relationship-together/
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