Hello everyone, and welcome to my world again! Glad you're back!
today I’m going to talk about some of the things I dealt with while growing up.
Growing up wasn’t always easy. I always had my fantasy world and beliefs, but the outside world often didn’t understand any of that. This feeling was always mutual.
It all started from a very young age already, for example at school. When I was about 5 years old, the boys played football, and the girls played with dolls and whatever else girls that age play with. But me? I was searching for insects and cool looking stones on the playground.
You can imagine that didn’t make me the most popular kid in school, and so I was also bullied a lot from an early age on.
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I was everything you shouldn’t be as a kid… I loved weird things like insects, nature, fantasy clothes, and absolutely hated sports and trends all the other kids were obsessed about. Except Pokémon, I still love Pokémon to this day. Probably it is because of the animals in it. It was a world that resonated so much with mine.
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Entering puberty was also very hard. The bullying got even worse as I had to go to boarding school, and I was at some point the only alternative kid there, so you can imagine, these times were so difficult.
The other thing that happened at that time was the rise of social media. I made profiles on a lot of sites, posted pictures, music and thoughts on them. Sure enough, other people started contacting me who were just like me. Even more so, people started asking me for advice on how to live your dream and how to deal with your surroundings while doing that. 'Cause, let’s face it, people are really not that accepting over all if you’re even the slightest bit different. Let alone if you are one of the black sheep like I was….
This image describes my time in school so accurately. That little, sad, long haired blob in the middle is me.
Over the years, my way of dressing also became more and more as I wanted it to be. This meant leaves, leaves, and some more leaves. I’m really obsessed with leaves, the color green and irregular shapes. Pointy dresses and curls. I also designed some of my own clothes, and let them make by skilled people. for example my leaf coat, which you can see here.
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As you can imagine, dressing like that every day, you get a lot of looks. It’s just like that and I know it will never change. Being barefoot in public with very long hair and walking in a leaf outfit will grant you some looks. But after all this time, I barely notice it anymore. sometimes, when i’m walking with some friends, they ask me: don’t you dislike it when you always get stared at everywhere you go? well, you know, just like I said, I am not paying any attention to it anymore. I just don’t see it.
Of course there are still times where it feels uncomfortable For example at a station and there are a lot of scary, violent looking people. Then I can be really scared. Also there will always be nasty people who will shout at me, or ask inappropriate questions... But most of the time, reactions are very positive.
Sometimes I also play on the streets with my unknown instrument, the Hammered Dulcimer. People are almost always very surprised and intrigued when they see it. There were even times where people started to cry when they heard its sound. That is always really touching.
So to come to a conclusion: Yes, I’m very, very different from what would be considered 'normal’ in this weird world. But I’m also very happy that I never gave in and became mainstream. I follow my dream, which is to one day live in a hobbit house and to become a fulltime professional musician. To inspire people to follow their dreams, because that’s what the world needs more of in my eyes. People with beautiful dreams. All that is needed is to learn to live them...
Allow yourself to dream, and allow yourself to be the person you intend to be. Only then will you be truly happy.
What is yours?
Happy dreaming, and I hope you’re all happy with who you are!
Love and hugs,
Elvya