I meant to post this in July after I got home, but I put it off under the overwhelm of life and having a full-time job. I'm writing it now, though, so let's get to the story!
Last year, I went to a music festival called Fire In The Mountains. I left home with about $500 on me, and drove nearly 16 hours to see one of my favorite bands, Falls of Rauros. They blew my fucking mind! So did the other bands, and the community as a whole. I vowed to return this year if at all possible. And I did. This time, I had a factory job that paid over twice as much as the fast food job I had last year. I took plenty of money with me, as did the friend who joined me this year. It was this that saved our asses later on, and the experience made me really understand how lucky I was last year.
Everything was going great. 20 year old car? Check. Cash? Cards? Check. Food? Check. Blankets? Clothes? Pillows? Check. Tent? I rented one in advance; it would be delivered to the venue and we would pick it up there. Phone chargers? Bear spray? Knives? Water? Everything you can think of, we probably had it.
Photo by JSImagery, found on https://www.fitmfest.com/about-fitm/our-vision/
I was a little nervous for most of the drive. The worst place for something to happen would be about halfway there, in the middle of Nebraska, surrounded by a bunch of nothing, too far to come back and borrow a family member's vehicle, too far to hitch a ride to the festival and back. Not much choice except to ditch the car, or pay a ton of money to have it towed and repaired if it's worth saving, and go back home.
Despite my worry, we kept going. Closer and closer. Spirits were lifting. Took a short nap at a rest stop halfway through and kept going. 14 hours in, and we were almost there. We passed a little town called Lander, didn't think much of it, just another town among the many we'd passed by.
A few minutes later, we spotted a native American gift shop and decided to check it out. They had all kinds of things. Clothing, blankets, rugs, books, honey, jams, knives, wooden flutes, jewelry, dishes, art, and more. I got some honey, huckleberry jam, marionberry syrup, and a box of Indian Love tea. I was tempted to buy a wooden flute. There were two types to choose from, one about $50 or $60, available in many different keys, and a smaller one, about $25, available in the key of G. I opted to get that one. Since we were looking around for a while, I made mental notes and picked up my things when I was ready to check out.
A little wooden owl figurine, among several other hand-carved animals on a shelf, caught my eye. When I saw the price tag I hesitated. But I couldn't shake that strange feeling. I told myself we'd probably pass by here on the way back. If I'm meant to get this owl, we'll end up in this store again, and I'll buy it then.
Photo by Andreas Wagner on Unsplash
We were back in the car, and my friend was playing with his flute. It sounded better than I expected. Wait, I forgot to grab one! And so, I found myself back in the store, much sooner than I expected. I grabbed the flute and the owl. I think the owl was also about $25.
I started my car, but got distracted playing around with the flute, until my friend said, "Hey, your car is smoking".
"Shit," I said. "What the hell are you thinking, car? You know smoking is bad for your lungs."
White smoke was rising from under the hood. I shut the car off, got out, and found a puddle near my front left tire. After looking in the assortment of fluid bottles I keep in my trunk, I concluded that I was leaking coolant. I saw how low my overflow tank was. I'm not much of a car guy. I only learn things about cars when they break and need fixing. So I entered the store a third time, and explained my situation. I asked about roadside assistance hotlines. They only had the police station number, so I called them, and they didn't know of any numbers I could call for help. Neither did Google. The employees in the store then pointed me back to Lander, the nearest town, a 10 or 15 minute drive away. Mix water with antifreeze, they said, and top off your coolant until you get to Lander. There's an auto repair shop right next to the first gas station on your right.
Everything I poured into the tank spilled out the bottom somewhere. I'd sprung a leak, and the heat of the engine was burning it off into white smoke. Regardless, I decided to try to make the drive with the little bit I had left. Less than a minute later, the temperature gauge shot all the way up. I remembered my grandma had advised me if that ever happens, pull over immediately. So that's what I did. I opened the hood. My coolant was almost gone.
Photo by Aubrey Rose Odom on Unsplash
What a pickle! I noticed the hose on the overflow tank was wet. Maybe that's where the leak was coming from? My desperate, last-resort attempt to seal it off with duct tape and fill it back up was unsuccessful. On the side of the road with cars zipping by at about 70 mph, 15 minutes away from the nearest auto shop, we were kind of fucked. But before I could think to call a tow truck, a red SUV pulled over. An older native American couple, probably in their 50s, got out and asked if we needed help. I explained my problem, and...
...they pulled us all the way to Lander, with their old SUV and a strap they had in the back!
They dropped us off at the auto repair shop. I thanked them with a $20 for gas.
The auto repair shop wasn't very helpful. Their mechanic was about to go home for the weekend, and they were booked until about Wednesday. So was virtually every other auto shop I could get to answer the phone. It was Friday, and we needed to leave on Monday after the festival so I could go back to work on Wednesday. Someone in the lobby came outside and looked under my car. He said it looked like the water pump was bad. At least now we knew where the leak was.
I saw a familiar red SUV in the parking lot at the neighboring gas station. The man (I don't remember their names) was airing up his tires and power steering fluid. He too had car problems, something to do with power steering. I noticed he didn't have any caps on his wheels, and asked about it. I'd recently bought a new tire pressure gauge after my old one stopped working, and it came with caps, which I happily retrieved from my glove box and put on his wheels.
I told them what the auto shop said, and they offered to pull us down the road to the Ford dealership/shop. Then they went about their way, and there we remained for the next several hours.
Photo by Zach Vessels on Unsplash
Ford too was pretty booked. However, we explained our situation, how far away from home we were and that I had to go back to work on Wednesday, and they managed to push back a couple jobs to get our car, hopefully, done sometime Monday. We asked if there were any buses going to Jackson, about a two hour drive, and maybe we could hitchhike from there to Heart Six Ranch, the site of the music festival in Jackson, Wyoming.
No buses, but the bus service he called gave us numbers for local taxi services. We wrote those down and decided to try getting an Uber first. Meanwhile, Ford diagnosed the car as needing a radiator hose and a water pump, a repair costing a bit over $600.
Photo by Victor Xok on Unsplash
Uber was unavailable. Lyft was unavailable. We called one taxi service. They were only available at specific times, both of which didn't work very well for us. The last one we tried calling, Classic Cruise Control, said they might be able to give us a ride, and they'd call us back.
They said yes, but it would be about an hour. Meanwhile, we walked around Lander, half-heartedly stopping inside a couple buildings. I was bummed out about the whole deal. A little worried that we might not make it home in time.
We paid for the drive all the way to the venue from Lander, and I tipped the guy very generously because I had the money to spare, and without him taking the job, we would never have made it to the music festival. The driver, Paul, was really cool, and it felt very laid back. He drove a big rickety old brown van, plenty of room, and told stories of the people he gives rides to - hikers, kayakers, people who travel around to spend time in nature and teach people about what they do, survival skills and such - some of them even do it for a living, somehow! For the first time, I got to admire the scenery outside as a passenger, and felt very relieved that we were finally reaching Fire In The Mountains.
Photo by Conrad Breadwater, found on https://www.facebook.com/fireinthemountains/posts/842042052843542
The festival was great, and while no one there who was passing through Lander had room in their car for us, we managed to get another ride from Classic Cruise Control after it was over. I could go into detail about how amazing Fire In The Mountains is, but that's a topic for another post. I'll move on to the reason I'm writing this post:
In hindsight, everything turned out okay and went rather smoothly. Things could have been much worse. The place and the timing of my car breaking down happened just right so that we could drop my car off, make it to the festival and back to my car, and head home right on schedule. But it's more stressful than that when you're 14 hours away from home, you were expecting to have an amazing weekend, and suddenly everything falls apart last minute, and you don't know how or if you will get to the festival, and you're afraid you might miss a few days of work and spend all your money getting your car fixed.
That's why, right from the beginning, I knew I needed to keep a calm and rational mindset. I was determined to go to the festival. I saw this situation as a test of faith from the universe. It was scary, but instead of panicking or giving up, I thought through the possibilities and options, I used my best judgment to navigate this problem and work everything out so that we would reach our goal. And that's what we did.
I did what I could, and when I was powerless, we were helped. I'm extremely thankful for that. All in all, between car repairs, taxi rides, and what I spent at the festival on shirts and food and art, I think I spent about $1200 that weekend. An entire paycheck. I'd been saving up for this trip for months, so I had the money, and my friend had a good amount too, but I paid the bulk of the expenses, feeling responsible as it was my car.
Photo by Sean Poynter, found on https://www.facebook.com/fireinthemountains/posts/865671140480633
At the festival one night, I meditated on owls. I'd bought that owl without knowing why right before my car broke down. They're so mysterious. As a Twin Peaks fan, I've wondered for a long time about the meaning of "the owls are not what they seem". What are they? What do they seem? After that experience, my interpretation was this: things happen to us in life that are beyond our control. They can seem like a curse. But thanks to a very difficult mushroom experience last winter, I've learned that when something happens that seems like a bad thing, it isn't good or bad. It's only what you make of it. The "owls", these events, may seem like a tragedy. But they can actually be great learning experiences, if that's what you make of them.
After that mushroom experience, and when my car broke down, I could have reacted in a negative way and ended up worse off because of it. But I don't let the world just happen to me. I have to take action when challenges are presented with a positive solution in mind. Last winter, I began re-prioritizing my life and working harder to heal my mind and get my shit together, after becoming aware of the hell I was creating for myself and the changes I needed to make to begin creating the life that I dream of. This summer, I did everything I could to fix my car, attend the festival, and get home safely and in time for work. I've done both - although the former is a constant, lifelong process, not a once-and-it's-done kind of thing. I'm still staying vigilant that I keep moving forward and do whatever I need to do.
Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash
Throughout the whole adventure, even though things felt kind of hopeless, I kept trying and trusted that there is always a way. If you want to do something bad enough, you will find a way. This philosophy applies to my life right now, as I'm spending some time without a job in order to work on all the art projects and creativity I had no time for when I was working. I receive the ideas and opportunities I pray for. I pray for the courage to try, and the luck, the faith, to be successful. My ultimate goal is to live as an independent artist, and to improve myself to be happier, healthier, stronger (emotionally), and more creative. And more... such a goal cannot be put into words so briefly, only felt and understood. The fear that comes with making big leaps must not hold you back, but serve as the force that keeps you motivated and working hard. There's no room for depression or procrastination. There is only getting shit done so that I can sustain this lifestyle, and not have to spend all my free time at a job again.
I pray to remain in tune with, and strengthen my connection to, the guidance I receive from within. The love, the faith, and the healing. Without this connection, I would never have come as far as I have in life. I'd be stuck with the same old problems, the same shitty life, until I die. Problems never go away, but they don't have to stay the same. To stagnate, in my opinion, is hell. To live a life of escapism causes those problems to grow until they swallow you whole. To face your problems, accept that you exist, and embrace how lucky you are to exist in human form at this time in history and live this life to the fullest, is to heal, grow, transcend. That process is painful at times, but it's much better than the alternative.
I pray for all these things not only for myself, but for all my friends and family, often with certain people in mind, but when I say friends and family, that extends to all of humanity and beyond, because we're all related, we're all connected, and we are one (though we're so apart).
And I thank the universe for its gifts of love, faith, healing, guidance, ideas, opportunities, strength, courage, and luck. Thank you to all the loving souls who work to make these things possible. You know who you are.
If you've made it this far, holy shit, thank you for reading! Please consider upvoting and resteeming if you've enjoyed this story and my sappy conclusion. Before I sign off, I leave you with one last song:
