Last month, I experienced a flurry of emotions just days after finding out I was pregnant with my third child. I have been struggling with the idea of sharing this experience, but in the end I think my story could help others who may find themselves in the same situation.
I found a note posted to the front door from Social Services. It stated that my husband and I needed to call and discuss a report they had received, signed by a CPS Investigator.
I became infuriated. What could I possibly have done wrong? Just that morning before finding the note, I was thanking God and congratulating myself at how far I had come! I have two beautiful boys, an amazing husband, loving parents who share their home with us, and now blessed with a third pregnancy.
I questioned absolutely everything I did after receiving that note. Not only was I infuriated, but deeply depressed that maybe I was a terrible mother. My mind was fixated on who in the world could have reported us and WHY?!
My husband and I did some research about what to expect, and found that CPS is designed to follow through on EVERY accusation no matter how outlandish it may sound. False reports come in every day, but how many of those are not false, I wonder? This is when I stopped feeling angry. Yes, I was upset that I was caught in this situation, but in my heart I knew I had done nothing wrong. Fighting, arguing, or not-cooperating with this investigator would do my family no good, and may cause suspicion, though I very much disliked the idea of playing nice to someone who ultimately could take my children away. In the end, I decided I would welcome the investigator into our home.
I had to pause halfway through this post to answer the door. A surprise visit from a different CPS Investigator! Here I thought the situation was cleared up. The story continues… Originally, I had written out all the ridiculous allegations, but after this second surprise visit I feel I should be more vague as this certain unknown someone seems inclined to continue harassing us. When this finally comes to a close I will share more details.
She arrived while we were outside playing with chalk. She approached my children and greeted them without saying much, if anything, to my husband or me. At first I thought it a bit rude, but I admire people who show as much interest in children as adults, actually speaking to them and eager for a conversation. When I was little, I felt unworthy, as some adults would talk in third person, or as if I wasn't there. So, I appreciated this, and my boys obviously did too. They followed her inside saying, "Mommy, she is nice. I like her!"
The lady introduced herself and was very friendly, but I was still nervous even though I had nothing to hide. My hands were clammy, my body stiff, and my hormones raging. She began to name off all the accusations against us, and I could not help bursting out with laughter at the absurd allegations. Our conversation immediately took a healthy turn.
She had to audio record, and we started the conversation over from the top. I was grateful she didn't record our first reaction, and gave us time to calm our nerves. She spoke with everyone that was home at the time and took a quick tour of our bedroom. After that, we had to sign a paper detailing our discussion. Before leaving she asked if I had any questions. I expressed my questions and concerns, admitting that I do need help, and she left us with tons of information and suggestions!
While it is embarrassing to be accused in such a way, it is also down right ludicrous if you knew us. We are the kind of parents who don't hire babysitters (other than grandparents). We are the parents that "waste money" on organic produce. We are the parents who take our children absolutely everywhere, not just because we don't trust random people for babysitters, but because we want to share what we love with our children. We are the parents who take the extra time to teach our children instead of handing them a tablet so we can just "get it done." We love our children. There is no one else in this world that could ever love them as much as we love our own flesh and blood.
This investigator was obviously here to disprove the accusations just as much as she was here to prove any. My main concern is not unlike hundreds of other families in this country, or worldwide for that matter. We can't afford health insurance - we were quoted something twice as high as our rent EVERY paycheck, not just every month. After paying the bills we spend the rest on food, and there is nothing left for savings.
While it was very awkward walking a stranger through our home, knowing she was there to judge the very way we live, I reminded myself how grateful I am for her and her colleagues. There are indeed children in desperate need of help and attention. My only wish was she didn't have to waste her time with us, and that she could have rather been helping one of those children that truly needed her. I am grateful for this woman. She must face tons of angry people every day, and deliver this bad news and accuse them in their own home. She is putting herself out there in hopes of saving a poor, innocent child. She is just doing her job.
The whole point I am trying to make here is that even though you may be in a tight spot, don't for one second doubt yourself. There is good to be had when one opens their arms and hearts. It may not happen immediately, and you may have to go through hell for awhile, but in the end you will be stronger and wiser.
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