All successful couples have to evolve over time. Evolving as a team means that the two of you together solve the puzzle of your strengths & weaknesses & how they can work together.
In team sports players are put in positions that play to their strengths so the team can win. When there is respect about both people you can learn how to play to help both be successful. You are willing to take risks because you have each others backs.
Stop & ask yourself if you’ve ever undermined your partner in front of the kids or to friends or to your parents? I think this is an all too common occurrence. A pattern of complaining easily to others is evidence that you are not a team.
Instead of being so easily annoyed by the differences, first you have to learn to be aware of strengths of the differences not just the weaknesses & second & most importantly accept the downside as part of the package as a whole. It’s so easy to stay angry & resentful. Of course acceptance is easier said than done, but it helps if you take time to inventory your own strengths & consider the downsides of each. Everything carries both sides, the good & the bad.
Be there for her, she will be there for you