When you first get upset or angry with your partner, there are always two problems: your emotions and the actual problem. For example, if you're frustrated with them for not doing the dishes. You now have two problems to solve: the dishes need to be done and you need to no longer be upset with him for not doing them.
In most other areas in life, we recognize the need to prioritize problems and deal with them separately. It only makes sense to do the same with your fights. Before you tell your loved one what they aint, you may want to make sure you're not being irrational and turning a quick fix solution into a major problem.
When you're frustrated and your angry is aimed at your loved one, that's the worst time to have a conversation.
Of course, being frustrated and venting anger is all normal and accepting that your emotions are a real thing that need to be dealt with and distinct from the subject of your actual argument sets the stage for resolution.
When it comes to anger management, everyone has their own way to chill out. If you find yourself on the verge of a fight with your loved one, take a moment to deal with your stress, and allow them to do the same. It's probably best for you to do so alone. Do whatever brings your energy down. Go for a walk. Listen to loud music. Write an angry note and then destroy it.
Most importantly, once you're done calming down, come back. As I mentioned earlier, when a fight erupts, you're dealing with two problems. Calming down solves one problem and makes it a lil easier to deal with the real issue.
Many times we can save a relationship by simply swallowing our pride and having a conversation