Letter to José Dolores Lopez
On Father's Day and Days from
His 78th Birthday
June 18th, 2017
Dear José:
Today, on Father's Day, June 18th, 2017, I want to wish you a Happy Father's Day and remind you of your upcoming birthday on June 23rd. But reality sets in and I'm not sure whether you could hear me because you are laying sick in bed. I hope you can hear my Happy Father's Day and Happy Birthday! to you José .
When we began dating, you were 23 years old; had completed four years of medical school at the prestigious "Universidad Javeriana", in Bogotá, Colombia. You were also working as a cameraman at the "Televisora Nacional de Colombia", where you completed courses in Television Production. Two years later we got married. Remember? We got married November 1965 and a few days later, you traveled alone to this wonderful Country with a bag full of dreams 52 years ago
You settled to live with my sister Aracelly and her husband Luis who lived in Astoria, Queens, New York, where they had arrived several months before your arrival. I followed you March 18, 1966 with another bag full of dreams too. We lived with them for a few months. You were working at a factory and I found a job too, in Swingline stapler. We were both now in the United States, the land of opportunity where possibilities indeed opened to us.
After about three months, we began to look for an apartment to move in, but after we had already found an apartment, someone told us about a job opening cleaning a big building. We both had to work at the job, we would get an apartment to live in plus a salary. We had found a job that was a mine of gold. Porters or janitors in a 500 family building in Astoria, Queens, New York. Our responsibility to clean four buildings and take charge of garbage collection. But soon after, luck struck and we became building Superintendents with added responsibilities and more money in our pockets and barely speaking any English.
It was at this new field of work that you were able to implement your creativity and apply your technical know how in every new challenge you encountered. You invented new and faster ways to do a particular job, you immersed yourself in repairs you've never encountered, like troubleshooting gigantic oil boilers, plumbing repairs, electrical work and general condominium maintenance. I was a liaison between the owners, tenants and you the Super, the troubleshooter, the fixer upper. You were punctual, effective and practical. There was no job too big or too small that José did not act upon. My job was made easier because you were able to resolve every single problem. You were a genius, I always thought.
José was loved by tenants and owners alike. They've found a diamond on the raw and we had found a diamond mine of opportunity to create, to perform, to fulfill our success and make money. Here we had the means to help our families by bringing them into this beautiful Country to share on the infinite possibilities opened to us. Because of our desire to help friends and family with jobs and a place to live in, we became like a lighthouse for newcomers.
Even though we were successful our marriage went through great difficulties because of my liberal personality, sharing with your conservative personality. Also, we were trying to know and understand each other, growing a family, learning English and getting accustomed to a new way of life. All the latter, plus having to mind 500 condo apartments with many disgruntled tenants. We managed to have a family with two beautiful and brilliant children, Sandra and Roberto, who were born while working and living there. Nonetheless, we were a very happy family and spent many a happy time with our families and friends.
Your generosity had no limits; I remember very well how much you supported my desire to go to school and made it possible for me to accomplish my career goals. You helped me graduate from Queensborough Community College (AA), 1973, Queens College (BA degree, 1975).
I also completed 30 credits towards a PhD in languages and literature at the Graduate Center, CUNY, 1976-1979. I remember vividly how you even took time to personally mind the children and when too busy to do that, you always prompted me to hire baby sitters and even live-in help. I do thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a generous husband and a loving father.
At the time of the Graduate Center studies, we got divorced and I had to stop going to school to support myself. These otherwise good traits may have been the very reason why we began growing apart. We had given ourselves to others forgetting about ourselves, by not cultivating, nurturing and enriching our own nest, our own love, the Lopez' Family: José, Sandra, Roberto and Elvira; also, by taking each other for granted.
From right to left, I am the one with orange top, Jose, son Roberto, daughter Sandra, my brother Polo, our grandson, Jonathan, grand-daughter, Nicole and grandson Elvis Valentino. We were all partaking on a trip to our home country Colombia as part of José's Bucket List.
Sadly, I never read this letter to you because you passed away at 2:30 a.m, on June 19th, 2017.
We lived apart since 1979 but God gave us the opportunity of living in the same household to spend your last days by my side. I hope I gave you the care, nurture, comfort and love you deserved. You will always be in my heart.
May your soul Rest In Peace, José. May you be with God and His Angels forever.
Signed:
Elvira
Your ex-wife,