1. The Inconsiderate Nature Of Intrusive Questions
The worst part of being a people pleaser is always feeling as though you have to provide an answer to everyone's questions no matter how intrusive and inconsiderate they are. Fact has it that whenever you're in the office or any place where you don't really have a close bond with any of the people around you beyond a business one, you don't appreciate them asking you questions about your relationship status or anything else that appears to be an insult disguised as a question.
Remember how middle school was? There was always some wiseacre who would approach you and ask you some really stupid question while he'd be smirking at his friends. It's almost as though he underestimated your intellectual capacity to detect his dishonorable intentions for you, but you did your best to brush him off once he got to be too much of a nuisance; and if he threatened you with violence, then you had to fight him one way or another.
On YouTube, I came across this one video in which a Terri Cole provides excellent advice on how to shut these nosy troublemakers down before they have a chance to dig into your inner most feelings in a derisive manner. Her video is below.
Terri Cole Educates You On How To Shut Down Nosy People When Their Questions Become Too Derisively Intrusive
I'm not a big fan of the mental-health profession, but Ms. Cole's video above highly impresses me. You have to figure that if somebody asks you stupid, unanswerable questions like, "Why didn't you ever get married like your brother or sister?," that person must really have nothing going on in their own lives. It's not really a question but rather an insult masked as a question. In other words, they're really making fun of you.
The people pleaser always makes the mistake of not telling that person to mind their own business. If that person gets offended in that event, then it's only because they deserve to be offended. And why do they need you to believe that marriage is somehow a deadline in life? If they're married themselves, then it's obvious that they're unhappy in their own marriage. Otherwise, they wouldn't have a need to nose into other people's personal business.
2. The Inevitable Nuisance Of In-Laws
Regardless of whether or not you get married, you're bound to have at least one in-law in your family. That is, unless you're single and you're an only child.
The most offensive kind of in-law is the brother-in-law who thinks that he is holier than thou, especially if he was a jock in high school who did everything to prove himself, including getting married and starting a family at a young age during his adulthood. He usually has a God complex, among other things.
Some of you probably have a brother-in-law that fits that description. He somehow believes that you owe him an honest answer for everything he sticks his nose into, including the trash collection schedule at your residence. For example, you may have a pressing deadline and you never got around to putting out the trashcan at the curb the night before. It's the one and only time that you've ever missed a trash collection the next morning, and he happens to stop by and complain about it as though the world is coming to an end.
You try to explain the situation to him, and he says, "So you say" with skepticism in his voice. You feel like telling him that he'll just have to take your word of honor for it. Even worse, you feel like telling him to take the trashcan and stick it where it best fits.
When such a person is a parent as Ms. Cole describes in her video above, it's much worse if your father or mother has Asperger's by proxy. That is, they believe that everyone around them has Asperger's Syndrome and they themselves have a perfect bill of health, when nothing could be any further from the truth. If that parent goes no-contact with you inasmuch as you refused to go along with their deluded fairy tale, then don't attempt to reconnect with them.
Such parents are incapable of taking accountability for their actions, and they're dangerously toxic. Your life is way too short to be putting up with their nonsense. Going along with their fairy tale could get you into trouble with the authorities; and if something like that should happen, they're not going to fork up the money to pay for your criminal-defense representation if you can't afford to pay for it yourself.
Sometimes it's better to distance yourself from family members who are out to manipulate and abuse you for their own selfish purposes. Never mind what charlatans like Dr. Park Elliott Dietz have to say about those situations. That buffoon hasn't had mental patients in over four decades. His only objectives are to ruin people's careers and send innocent people to prison.
3. Final Thoughts
You have private thoughts and feelings upon which nobody has the right to trespass. When someone asks you offensively intrusive questions or they make snide remarks at you, they're not giving you constructive criticism and they're certainly not behaving that way toward you out of the kindness of their heart.
Now, I completely get it. We all wish to present a certain decorum with respect to our image and demeanor before others. However, nothing says that you have to be anyone's fool. You have the right to be respected just like anyone else.
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