How do I show my gratitude for growing up with a mother, father, and knowledge of my family? One way I choose to practice my gratitude today is making my DNA available on websites like 23andme.com, ancestory.com, and familytreedna.com to help those that did not enjoy the same experience to reconnect with their family.
Today I enjoyed experiencing the gift of giving back this way by talking for hours with my sister Thuy from Vietnam who unlike me grew up not knowing who her mother or father were. Genetic testing and family trees have allowed us to reconnect which makes a huge difference to us both the way finding a missing finger might to our hand.
Our first meeting was yesterday as described at https://steemit.com/family/@jerrybanfield/first-meeting-with-my-sister-from-vietnam-in-farmington-michigan-day-2. Today we had dinner at the Red Olive with our cousin who helped us make the connection through a combination of DNA testing and extensive records of family history.
We are very grateful Dawn made herself available by taking a DNA test just because she had a desire to know her own ethic background more and an open heart to helping anyone else hoping to do the same. Dawn matched my sister Thuy as approximately a third cousin and had such an amazing family tree she helped Thuy discover me and ask me to submit my DNA for a test.
Prior to meeting Thuy, I never considered the possibility that sharing my DNA might help a lost family member find their way home because I assumed I already knew all my family members. Some I have talked with about this say that people have a right to privacy and to not be bothered by the past.
What about the right of all children to know their mother and father? Do we really believe in protecting the reputation of parents having children in circumstances leading to those children not even knowing their names? Might we prevent some of the sexual behavior we see today with an expectation that all parents would be known to their children?
As the prevalence of genetic testing increases, in my lifetime we are likely to see so many results uploaded that it will be difficult to prevent any child from knowing their parents because even a third cousin can make clear the path to parenthood. It may even be possible to integrate this directly with dating where people will be able to check family trees prior to messaging.
Thuy and I talked a lot today about how much knowing ones mother and father means to a child to understand their place in a family which is the primary way most of us are introduced to this world. With a 12 hour audio book full of crazy stories from my past, I understand how challenging it can be to bring our dark secrets we thought we could take to the grave into the light. In my experience, we benefit greatly from doing this because we find motivation to not repeat the behavior and unlock our full ability to help each other. When I have craving and temptation come, the main thought that blocks it is the idea of everyone knowing about it.
When we face fears of discovering new family members through DNA testing and therefore shattering our existing idea of what our family is, we see that what we have to gain is much more in the form of love and connection. I now have an expanded idea of who my family is which helps me to have more compassion and understanding for all human beings.
Even though my life is about as "busy" as it can get with 
For example, making a hundred thousand dollars in one day has no joy relative to spending a few hours with my daughter. Meanwhile, taking more time than I need to in my business to make money and missing out on time with my family brings consistent pain which motivates me to do just enough here each day to help and then spend the rest of the day on my relationships. Once we see this, poverty is nothing to fear as long as we maintain our relationships and wealth is nothing to celebrate when it comes without enough time for family, friends, and service work.
My biggest challenge today was meeting Thuy at the MGM Grand Detroit where she is staying with her husband Mike. With my struggles in drinking and gambling, I was afraid to walk in after over four years of not entering a casino. I shared this fear and Thuy was kind enough to hang out with me in her hotel room for a few hours. We made a video which we hope you will enjoy after I edit it once I get back home!
Thank you very much for reading about day 3 of my trip to Detroit to meet Thuy after sharing day 1 and day 2 on Steem!
Love,
Jerry Banfield