Its been a long time, and a lot has happened at PUP’s House over the past 2 months or so. To pick up where I left off from my last post, I shared my story with you guys, and ended with it being time for a change. A drastic change. After being a Registered Nurse at Middlesex Hospital for 7 years, I resigned from my position in the Emergency Department. My last day was July 23, 2017. Now what led to this you might ask…..lets back track a little bit.
Brief Background
My name is Elena. I am a Registered Nurse, graduated June 2010 from University of Connecticut School of Nursing program with my BSN. I started working at Middlesex Hospital in July 2010. I have been with this facility my entire 7 year nursing career thus far. I transitioned from the medical surgical floor to the Emergency Department in October 2012. I have a passion for nursing and working to help others, which is clearly reflected not only in my performance and work ethic, but my compassion and love for family as well. I have worked very diligently to always ensure I establish and maintain good relationships with my patients and co-workers. Providing quality and compassionate care was and still is my priority. I have worked very hard to also keep growing in my profession through obtaining my Medical Surgical Nursing Board Certification, and attending various educational seminars offered by the hospital over the years. But this level of dedication extends beyond the work setting, it applies even more so when it comes to caring for my family. I am full time caregiver to my grandfather, mother and mother in law who reside in my duplex, and suffer from ailments which require various levels of care, from continuous supervision, redirection, assistance with ADL’s, medication administration, ect. My husband and I do this, in addition to caring for our 4 small children. I have been caregiver for my mother (who suffers from bipolar/depression) and my grandfather (dementia, hypertension, hyperlipidemia, coronary artery disease, ect) for many years.
Family Needs is Priority
My grandfather has become more ill over the past year and half, with worsening dementia after a mini-stroke in October 2015. This has caused severe periods of confusion and disorientation. He needs assistance with various ADL’s. I prepare his meals, provide bathroom assist, and constant redirection. He also wanders and is unsteady on his feet, suffering multiple falls. I have a good rapport with him, he trusts my care and judgement from the long history we have together, and allows me to assist him, where is not receptive to non-family members such as my husband. My aunt and I are the only ones he is receptive to, and the only ones who are able to care for him. But she works multiple jobs during the week therefore, she only can help care for him on some weekends. I am the primary caregiver, here for him during the week, and she would help care for him on the weekends, so I could work. My mother is disabled. She suffers from bipolar depression. I have been her caregiver since I was a child at age 12, providing assistance in all aspects including but not limited to emotional support, assistance and reminders for ADLs (hygiene, personal care, laundry, shopping, doctors’ appointments, cooking, finances, ect). My mother’s mental disability has been and continues to be a responsibility I have carried all my life, and also has increased as she is getting older. I am the only person who is primarily responsible for their care and well-being, and I do this with love and compassion as family is my priority.
My mother in law has been living with us for the past 2 1/2 years. My husband and I have been her primary caregivers, as she is disabled and has rapidly progressed through the stages of her early onset Alzheimer’s dementia. She is totally dependent on us for care, including bathing, feeding, drinking, cooking, toileting, dressing, ect. She has decompensated rapidly, and the combination of caring for 3 adults, in addition to our 4 children has not allowed me to continue in my position in the ED.
Honesty is NOT Always the Best Policy
I was very open and transparent with administration and management at work about my increasingly strenuous home responsibilities. I was proactive and met with my nurse manager in November 2016 as the load became heavier to discuss cutting my hours from full time to part time. The part time schedule became a temporary part time weekend only position approved by our ED Director. This was a position which benefited both the ED, as we faced staffing issues with multiple vacancies on all shifts, as well as myself and the arrangement for appropriate caregiving needs for my family. Management made it clear they were willing to work with me and my schedule as I have proven to be a great nurse and asset to the department for my experience and work ethic. I was also proactive in finding coverage for assigned shifts that were not compatible with my home situation, by asking co-workers in person for switches, and to the department via email. Two of my co-workers offered to give up their weekends entirely and work weekdays so I may still be able to maintain my employment. I also reached out to our ED RN case manager for resources and assistance for my mother in law’s situation. I did everything in reach to accommodate my family at home and my work family and employment intact.
Everyone is NOT Created Equal
However, due to my limited availability to go to work during the week, or be there additionally than the allotted times scheduled for my shifts, I was unable to attend mandatory staff meeting and complete educational requirements on their deadlines. However, I did review the staff meeting minutes that were emailed to the department, and completed the educational requirements. I must add, I know I am not the only employee who missed deadlines or was absent from staff meetings. Yet, in spite of the legitimate reasoning for these lapses in accordance to policy, not from malicious intent, but reasons beyond my control, I was written up multiple times, while other employees were not reprimanded for the same. My nurse manager notified me of a final warning he was going to give me on meeting he scheduled for Monday July 3rd. I was beside myself with hurt, fear and confusion. I waited that morning to meet with him as planned, but he cancelled our meeting because he was not coming in due to “family issues”. I reached out to the hospital’s Employee Assistance Program via telephone, and was told a counselor would contact me within 1-2 business days. I received no call backs. And I had nowhere and no one to turn to. I faced termination for unjust causes, that other employees are not disciplined for, and my own nurse manager using family issues for not being present at work. This would ruin my nursing career and everything I worked so hard to achieve and maintain my entire life. The warnings were not due to lack of skill, patient care, or relationships with co-workers/patients. This was never an issue. My patients and peers loved me. In fact, in our final meeting my nurse manager reinforced this point. He even verbalized understanding of my decision to resign with dignity to take care of my family as this is the best decision once again for myself and the hospital.
I Chose My Family
I have always considered both sides when making decisions and presenting options. And because my family, and caring for them is my number one priority, I resigned from my position at the hospital. I was once again proactive and scheduled a meeting with my nurse manager on July 10th after our missed meeting the prior week. This is when I was clear with my position and handed in my 2 weeks notice. My nurse manager verbalized a great deal of respect, gratitude and extended the offer of returning to Middlesex Hospital once my home situation becomes lighter. My co-workers were devastated as they all care for me and have tried to support me as much as possible during this difficult period in my life. They even threw me a surprise goodbye party on my last day of work. This further confirmed I made the right decision. I maintained my dignity and values intact. Since then, I have been in game plan mode to get our business off the ground. I am now able to focus on caring for my family and venturing into the entrepreneurial world full time with my husband (King PUP of Crypto Kingz). This an opportunity to find me, develop projects that I am passionate about, create our own way instead of abiding by the rigid rules of a system who does not care about people as individuals. I, and we are setting a valuable example for our children. I am very excited about the road ahead and look forward to sharing our adventures at PUP’s House with all of you. Thank you for taking the time to read this and becoming part of our family through this journey.
