Being a father is one of the most rewarding and challenging adventures I have ever faced. I am blessed with 5 kiddos (ages 3 to 10 years old) who fill my life with joy, laughter, and excitement. But they can also wear me out, try my patience, and make my heart skip a beat or two.
I love them with all my heart. And every day being their daddy teaches me more about life.
I make mistakes. I make a lot of them!
I have always known that I am an imperfect person, but having children seems to remind me constantly of this fact. As adults, we can become callused because of previous trauma. We can become trained experts at deflecting pain with our defensive walls. We might lessen our expectations of others because we have been disappointed so often.
But most children wear their emotions on their sleeves. If a child is blessed (meaning not bogged down by the emotional baggage that adults carry), then his or her tender heart will hurt quickly instead of being lifeless and dulled.
I almost immediately see my failed interactions with my children.
- When I raise my voice in anger, I see the gathering of a tear and a little face that is full of shame.
- When I do not give the attention that is needed, I see the dropped shoulders and deflated posture as my child as she walks away.
- If I show anger enough times, I will see my children hiding from me instead of running to me in their time of need.
I make mistakes. Being a father keeps teaching me this lesson.
I pass down my strengths and weaknesses to my children.
We all come to the table with strengths and weaknesses. In my opinion, both should be celebrated. Having strengths and weaknesses is not a sign of success or failure, but how we use them (or overcome them) is.
If my wife is a stereo speaker that tells me how I am navigating this journey called life, then my children are mirrors that reflect how I am navigating this journey. I see myself in each and every one of my 5 littles. I see characteristics and qualities that make me proud, and others that make me cringe.
As a father, I must help my children learn how to live a full life with those strengths and weaknesses. And as I am shepherding them through life they teach me as well. I am honored to be both teacher and student!
My values and beliefs are the foundation for my children's values and beliefs.
Many people believe that you should allow a child to choose their own path. I partially agree. I believe that we should train and mentor our children during their transformational early years so that as they mature they will able to make wise decisions.
I support the idea of building a strong foundation, and I recommend that parents take an active role in establishing this important foundation. I am learning that my values and beliefs are starting points for my children's values and beliefs.
How will I teach them to ...
- respect authority?
- love the unlovely?
- seek reconciliation?
- pursue knowledge and wisdom?
- be people of their word?
- value excellence?
- never give up?
My children are forming their worldview as they hear what I teach and watch what I do. Maybe they will choose a different path later in life, but for now, I desire to teach them well so that later they can choose to live a life well-lived.
A simple act of kindness can change a someone's day, week, or life.
I should always show kindness, and while I am at it, I should start by showing kindness to the those who live in my home. As dads, we often forget how a small act of kindness makes a huge impact in the lives of our children.
Kindness is all about engagement.
- "Am I pretty, daddy?" "Yes, you look beautiful."
- "Look at my picture. I made it just for you." "Thank you so much."
- "Will you read me a book, daddy?" "I would love to."
- "I fell down!" "Come here and let me give you a hug."
I have watched small interactions with my children change the course of their day and week. I have hope that as I engage my children through kindness, I will be able to impact their lives so that they can impact the lives of people I may never meet.
Final Thoughts
I would never change my life with all of its joys and struggles. I am blessed to married to the love of my life. And we have 5 amazing children.
There are days when I feel the extreme weight of this responsibility, but it is a joy to travel this journey as a family together.
Image Source: https://pixabay.com/en/man-daughter-scene-girl-lady-863085/