Free Range Kids - Should a Parent Have the Right to Determine their...

To some this may seem like a strange question. You say,

of course the parents should have a right to decide according to their discretion.

Well according to the CPS your children should be supervised at all times.

Growing up I remember being outside all the time with my siblings and neighborhood friends. I believe I was 10 years old when I could first leave from in front of our house and actually play around the corner. My parents couldn’t see us at all times but they knew we were in the premises of our neighborhood. The rules were when the street lights came on it was time to head home. If we failed to follow them my dad blew his embarrassing bull horn that reminded us. Even our friends knew what the sound of that horn meant. I’m sure the surrounding communities could hear it too. My parents were comfortable with letting us have limited freedom within the lines of our community as it helped us become independent, and to learn about responsibility.

Were my parents neglectful because they allowed us out of their eyesight to go play outside? Absolutely not. They were parents that wanted us to have the freedom to enjoy our childhood and to experience time away from home. A baby bird has to leave it’s nest at some point.

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This whole idea of free-range parents and free-range kids came from a woman named Lenore Skenazy. In 2008 she allowed her 9 year old son to ride the subway solo. She received a lot of flak for her actions. She started a website called freerangekids.com where you will find multiple stories of parents putting this concept into practice.

Personally I would never be comfortable with allowing my children to ride the subway alone (at least before they are teenagers). It’s not a matter of whether they are responsible enough or I trust them, it’s a matter of the evil that’s lurking out there and the unforeseen dangers. They need to be capable of fending themselves first.

Skenazy believes we need to let kids be kids and stop thinking every time our kids leave our eyesight they will be kidnapped or murdered. She says this is the least likely to happen. She says we lose perspective on what real danger is and what’s not and we need to realize our kids aren’t in constant danger. Parents develop these many fears by seeing constant violence and tragedies on the news.

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In 2013 a Latina mother from Illinois named Natasha Felix allowed her sons aged 11, 9 and 5 to go play with their visiting female cousin at the fenced in park located right next to their apartment building. The 11 year old was in charge of watching after everyone while Felix kept an eye on them from her window.

A preschool teacher arrived with her class and examined the four children. She witnessed Felix’s youngest son fighting his cousin over a scooter and run into the street with it. She then called the Department of Children and Family Services...I’m sure you can guess what happens next. Felix was then paid a visit.

The investigator confirmed that Felix’s children were dressed appropriately, clean and well groomed. She even stated the 11 year old was a smart and mature boy that was well capable of going outside alone to the park next door. It was when she asked Felix if the boys had any special needs that things started to not look so good. She admitted her two oldest sons had ADHD but were off of medications for the Summer per their doctor. The investigator concluded that because the boys had this diagnosis and the mother was unaware of the street incident she be cited for “Inadequate Supervision” under the Illinois Abused and Neglected Child Reporting Act. Thankfully her boys were not taken away from her but she was placed on the state’s child abuse registry, lost her job as a home healthcare aide and lost her chances on becoming a licensed nurse practitioner.

Did the CPS go too far? Should this mother have lost her job and her chances of becoming a nurse? Wasn’t it her right as a parent to determine whether or not her children were capable of going to the park unattended?

Being a parent is a full time job but I have learned we cannot prevent or control everything. I was outside with my children as they played in the front yard. They were kicking the soccer ball back and forth to each other. At one point the ball was kicked into the street and started rolling down the hill. My 8 year old daughter quickly ran after it but not without first checking both ways for cars. If someone were to have seen her run into the street would they say I am a negligent parent? It happened so fast even before I could say be careful but she still practiced safety first.

After two years of fighting this citation it was dropped in 2015. Felix knew she didn’t do anything wrong so she kept fighting. DCFS spokesman Andrew Flach said,

Moving forward, the Department will be taking a closer look at similar cases to ensure that we allow caretakers to be prudent parents and considering changes to Department rules and procedures.

Times sure are different from when we were growing up. Parents are scared to parent because they don’t want to be labeled as negligent or risk losing their kids for allowing them to experience freedom by leaving the nest. Our decisions as parents should be based on our discretion and not on what a system says it should be. We as parents know what’s best for our children. Every family is unique and one way of parenting will not work for the masses. Let’s let parents get back to parenting instead of taking their children and jobs away. There are so many unnecessary cases and so many children being placed in unstable situations and it needs to end.