Mary shared with me a note she left for her daughter under her pillow about 4 months after she lost her to CPS 4 years ago. She pulled the old-well-neat paper from Lucy's pillow. As I read through it silently, I could see and feel her pain, for she was in tears the moment her hands pulled it off the pillow.
The piece below was inspired by Mary's note to her daughter, and I know it doesn't tell the magnitude of her hurt and the pain she has lived with for these 4 years. The System has failed this Single mother who lost it all when her daughter was removed by CPS. She still believes Lucy will return back to read the note she has left her till now.
With the mind of nowhere
Set to drift in a land of limbo
Paralysed beyond the scope of sensation
Numb, down the human and emotional spine
All my 'being' deprived of sensation..
Still, I feel it ALL
All the pain and anguish poured out plentiously
Like a river flowing into a tiny bucket
Oh My soul, filled to the brim
Overflowing with grief I comprehend not
All my 'being' deprived of happiness..
Oh lustrous gleefully endowed heart
Set on fire to burn destructively
My heart, once golden beyond gold
Now olden I stand and stricken
A fire burning, melting my sorrowful heart
Every day that passes, I am remembered..
The day She was taken I lost
Oh, I lost not just Something
Losing it all was all I did
Gradually I have lost it all
What remains of me no longer matters
Oh Lord!, How did I lose the precious seed of my womb..
Lucy, you held my world together
Sorry I am, for losing you Dear Child
Right this moment I still watch over your favorite pet parrot
He hasn't forgotten your name either
For he still calls you out in the morning..
I miss you Dear Child
Amongst this pains, limbo and emotional paralysis
All I feel is the happiness you rooted in me
Mama Loves you beyond reality and dream!
Somewhere, Someday, I'll hold you to my bosom again..
Diary Of The Aching
Fight For The True Interest Of Every Child Worldwide
Peace to you all,
MakeBloom
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