You may be thinking the title of this post is a bit dramatic?
This is exactly what's been happening in the UK over the past few years and probably in other areas of the world.
My family has been ripped apart after my sister, who has Aspergers Syndrome had her baby taken from her by Social Services and the courts, for the purpose of this post I have changed her name, the reason for this will become apparent. This is a true story - her story - our story...
My sister Lucy is now 30yrs old, her Aspergers has landed her in hot water on more than one occasion, including with the police. She has a criminal record, she has been in court numerous times, she even got sent to a secure hospital rather than prison when she was 18. All of her troubles revolve around her Aspergers, they all have different problems, Lucy fixates on people, in her eyes she just wants a friend, in the eyes of the law it is classed as stalking!
As a teen we encouraged her to write down her goals, her list was no different from a normal teenager. She wanted to pass her exams, pass her driving test, go to university, have a career, meet a guy, start a family and she has achieved some of that list. She passed her driving test after the 2nd attempt, she is currently doing her exams to try and get into university, she met a guy who agreed to give her a baby on the condition he wasn't named as the father and he wasn't involved. Not the right way of doing things but as a family we dealt with it.
She was living independently when she found out she was pregnant, she had Social Workers and Care Workers who went into her home a couple of times a week to make sure she was OK and coping. The first thing her Social Worker said when she found out Lucy was pregnant "OK I will arrange an abortion", Lucy protested, told her it was her baby, it was none of her business and she wasn't going to have the child aborted - and that is where our fight began!!
An emergency meeting took place, neither us or Lucy knew anything about it, Social Workers decided that unless she agreed to move back home, the baby would be taken from her at birth, no consultation, just their decision. She moved back home and bloomed during her pregnancy, the birth was bad and took a lot out of her but we were their to support her. Just after the child was born Social Services informed my mum that Lucy wasn't to be left alone with her baby, I don't know what they thought she was going to do!! Those who have Aspergers Syndrome tend not to deal with stress very well, Social Workers knew this yet they insisted on changing the goal posts on a regular basis, they were turning the screw which was causing us all more stress. They also decided they could come to the house whenever they liked without warning to check on the baby, day or night! The baby had quite severe colic so my mum, who has raised 3 children, gave the child gripe water, the social worker got quite aggressive, told her she was out of touch with modern parenting when she told her about the gripe water, apparently babies are not allowed this until they are at least 6 months old. Oh dear, I wonder how we survived!! Lucy and my mum could do nothing right in their eyes, they moaned if the child was laying in the crib wrong, if there was any weight loss, however slight, if there was any temperature change, however slight, it was a hard slog as it is for almost all parents with a new baby. They even complained that the child wasn't taken out in the fresh air often enough, even though it ended up being the worst months rainfall for years in the UK. All the stress they were causing, it was inevitable that something was going to give - and it did - with a BANG!!!!
My sister's stress levels went through the roof, late one night the front door was almost taken off the hinges, it was Social Workers and the police coming to take the baby into care, neither my mum or Lucy had a clue what was going on at the time. They came, snatched the child out of the crib and said they needed to get the baby to hospital because Lucy had inflicted harm! My mum and Lucy followed them to the hospital.
It turns out her Aspergers had gotten the better of her and the obsession she suffers with fixation had reared it's ugly head again, I blame the stress they put on her. Apparently someone she wanted to talk to online was ignoring her for days, he wouldn't reply to her so in the heat of the moment she said " If you don't speak to me I will hurt my baby", he reported her to the police and quite rightly so, they had to investigate!! Yes she was stupid but all the tests at the hospital proved she hadn't hurt her baby, however, because she said she had and because of the tests her baby had to undergo (some of which are painful) it was labelled as child cruelty. The baby went to foster parents that night and never came home again - THE FIGHT FOR HER BABY BEGAN...
Social Services arranged an emergency date to petition the court to have the child adopted, we got to court, only Lucy was allowed in with her solicitor, we had to sit outside because it was a closed court, better known as a secret court. The judge ordered that her baby stay with foster parents while psychiatric reports and any other evidence was gathered, we were allowed visitation at a contact centre twice a week for a couple of hours. Lucy never missed a visit with her child, we were watched like hawks which was really uncomfortable...
Social Services approached a few members of the family to see if they would adopt the child, they all felt they were too old to take on the responsibility of raising a child (in their 40's + 50's), my mum wasn't happy because these family members lived either abroad or hundreds of miles away, some we hadn't seen for years. They didn't ask any of the family that lived locally.
The next court date arrived, again we weren't allowed in. After receiving the requested reports the judge sided with Social Services and granted the adoption to go ahead, we were gobsmacked, she wasn't violent, she came from a decent family with no history of alcohol or substance abuse, she lived in a decent house, in a decent area, with decent schools, so what was the problem? To be honest I don't think they could see past her Aspergers Syndrome!!
Lucy explained to our mum that she wasn't allowed to say anything in court and that her legal representation also didn't say anything - mum was now on a mission - Lucy put an appeal in, mum got herself a barrister so she would be allowed inside the courtroom, and put a case together to adopt her grandchild. I can't remember the cost but it ran into the thousands!!
The appeal was heard but the judge still sided with Social Services, there was no explanation given to my mum as to why she couldn't adopt the child, Lucy was told that she would be held in contempt of court if she ever spoke to anyone about the case and would face jail, however, I wasn't so this is why I am telling her story and have changed her name in this post. she was told the final decision had now been made and there was nothing else she could do - the adoption would go ahead!! Her legal team then took her to one side and again told her there was nothing else that could be done, the courts would not hear another appeal and she MUST NOT talk about it otherwise she would end up in jail.
Lucy is not stupid and I knew she wouldn't take this laying down, she spent night after night on the internet, she went to the law library and eventually found a loophole in the law which said she could appeal. She couldn't get legal aid but she was allowed to represent herself. She submitted the relevant documents to a judge in a different county to the previous hearings and he agreed to let her go ahead with the appeal. She had managed, for the time being to get the adoption stopped.
The upside to representing herself was that she could request all documentation from the defence, she noticed that a lot of the information about her was blacked out but one report stood out. The court had ordered a psychiatric report for Lucy in the first court hearing, the report said she had Aspergers Syndrome, a personality disorder and Bi-Polar. We were shocked when she told us but I suppose that's what top lawyers from London, using tax payers money, working for Social Services can buy!!
Lucy set about challenging their psychiatrists report and paid for a private one to be done on Harley Street in London. He said that there was no way she had Bi-Polar or a personality disorder. The day of her appeal arrived, it was decided by the judge that she did have grounds to go to the appeal court in London - finally a small victory - not bad for someone that isn't capable of looking after her baby!!!
She prepared her case in the best way she could but she wasn't a lawyer, she had prepared everything using either the internet or law books, she didn't realise she had to ask permission to enter any new evidence into court, so when she tried to enter her new psychiatric report she couldn't. The rest of the hearing went against her, however it was revealed during the appeal, that Social Services had already place her child with the adoptive parents, which wasn't legal, so the judge went to town with them. Lucy had now lost her son but she gave it a good shot, I think had we got access to unlimited funds a hotshot barrister may have won, sadly that wasn't the case.
We were under no illusion that Lucy could raise a child on her own but she should have been given the chance to try with our help. We believe that they had already made the decision to take her baby when she got pregnant but we can't prove it. I spoke to another Social Worker from another county recently and she said they would have done everything possible to keep mother and child together, and agreed with help Lucy could have coped.
The child is now 5yrs old, we haven't seen him since he was 14 months old, we still have to keep an eye on Lucy because she has threatened suicide several times since her baby was stolen. My mum relives it everyday, she will never understand why she couldn't adopt her grandchild - neither do we!! She has made me promise that if she isn't around when the child reaches 18, I help Lucy find her child to explain to him he was very much loved and wanted. She has also kept all the court paperwork in a box for us to show him if we find him - of course I will help her.
I have skimmed events leading up to the adoption because there is just too much to write on here. This is happening on a daily basis in the UK, I will be posting other stories on here, I wasn't given a gagging order like the parents of these stolen babies so they are happy for me to tell their stories!!