I'm lost, upset and broken.
Why?
Because I feel I'm losing my freedom and independence.
I've a child, and it makes me vulnerable.
I am becoming dependent from the System, from circumstances and from absolute outrage that is going on in this life now.
What happened?
We've received this document by mail. It's a notification about our dept - about 200$.
They call it "dept", I call it - outrage.
The thing is that there is a new law in Russia.
According to it, all citizens should pay definite sum of money every month for the repair of their multistorey houses (private ones are not included).
No problem if the repair would be made now or the nearest time, BUT the problem is it will happen (as they promise) only in.... 20 years!
Can you imagine? I must pay for something that maybe will be in 2040?? The life is so changeable now, and we can't predict what will be tomorrow, and here - 20 years!
Moreover, we've calculated - we've a huge house, more than 300 flats, and it's really crazy money for the repair - to paint, to whiten, nothing global! Where will money go?
So it's just a way to make frauds with money, nothing more.
And yes, almost every month there are scandals that money for this repair are "lost" or spent in a wrong way - in a short word, it is stolen!
I don't want to be fooled, and I amn't so rich not to count money and pay for everything without any analysis. So we've decided not to pay and wait.
Now about 2 years passed, and we have got this letter - in a month they will make an application to the court about our debt. It's a serious problem already.
I was ready for it when I made a decision not to pay. And I was ready to fight and prove that I had to have a choice. But now there are definite fears...
I'm involved in the CPS activity too much since I have become a part of my beloved 
community. I follow all news and laws about them and study dozens of family stories. And now I'm really afraid...
The court is a part of the state system, and when there is a court application, many other related departments are awoken. In this case they will "dig" for any information about our family, they will find all weak sides to have a chance to influence on us. I will just make them pay attention on us.
We were in shadow, we didn't touch the System departments, and they, thanks God, didn't touch us. But now things can change...
Early I kept silence about my position - no kindergarten, no vaccination, another type of food, way of thinking, unschooling...it was my life, but I didn't make it loud, only here in Steemit I could be sincere and open.
Now I'm afraid our resistance can "awake" all our enemies.
Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
And maybe this damn debt will trouble this damn trouble??
I'm lost now. I never was afraid of the System and being outside it. I was proud and brave to say I'm different. But now when I have a baby I'm vulnerable too much, and I feel this dependence from the System and the CPS.
I fell I can't live free and calm. I have to be protected to create safety for my son.
So now I have to do what I don't want to just to keep them as far as it's possible.
I have to be inside of this outrage not to pay attention on my family and its difference from others.
Or am I wrong, and I should fight and go till the end without any fears?
What would you do, friends??