As far back as I can remember, my father was the biggest icon in my life. Since I grew up in the late 50’s and early 60’s, tradition was different then it is today. Fathers were the main support and income for the families as mothers were the caregivers and nurturers.
This is very different today. Both parents work to support the family as expenses and cost to live are greater. It seems that people want more than the simple life we had when I was growing up. Much has been forgotten about good simple family values.
Not everyone grew up with a positive father experience. Many grew up with abusive fathers or even no father at all. This book is especially for you. But it is also for the men that want to learn how to be a ultimate father. It is also for daughters who want to learn how a man should treat a lady. Its for boys who didn’t have fathers to better understand how to become a father because they didn’t have a role model.
It is very important for fathers to teach their sons about life, love and intimacy. When a boy grows up without a father, how does he learn how to be a man? When a little girl grows up without a father, how does she know how men are supposta treat them? How do each learn how to be in a healthy relationship? Fathers have to demonstrate healthy relationships. What does a good marriage look like?
It is our opinion that boys learn how to be fathers from their father. If the father was a drunk, the boys probably learned to become a drunk. If the father is a laborer, the boys are probably laborers. Simple but true.
Why is it that many men turn out to be lame fathers? Do they lack the courage to be strong for the children? Did they learn what courage actually was? Do they know how to balance their life between family and work?
It’s been said the if a family were a business, the father is the CEO, chief executive officer. He may also be the CFO, chief financial officer (although today many moms handle the family’s expenses). Being a father is much more than running a business. It is about love and leading by example. It’s about teaching and directing lives. Fathering is about guidance and free will. It is about helping children understand life.
It is also about fun things like bar b q-ing, bowling and camping. Canoeing, cards and cooking as well as entertaining and decision making.. Bottom line, children learn more from their fathers than any other human being in their lives! So why is fathering so important? It is a huge responsibility that many men don’t realize while they are enjoying their favorite pastime, making love.
Freud said that all men live their lives for one thing and one thing only. To have sex, lots of sex as much as possible. Men live their lives for sex. Many will lie, cheet and even steel for sex. If children do not have the proper guidance when they are young, they too will live preconscious lives around sex.
One of the biggest problems with boys and men today is they do not understand that women are people too. We know many men who are single and without loving relationships because they don’t understand how to treat a lady. We are going to help you learn what women want as well as what men want out of relationships. Its our hope that this book will solve a lot of relationship problems and at the same time teach what it takes to be an ultimate father.
When I met Richard, I hear him give a presentation on masculinity and kept saying, yeah and you are right (to myself) during his presentation. He talked about how men do not learn how to be fathers from their fathers. How many men grow up with serious issues with their fathers and even hating them? How can you be a father when you are angry at your own father? He went on to say that men hold onto this anger all their lives ruining their marriages and intimate relationships.
I went on to think about how this was true in my own life. My father worked a lot as an architect and was busy a lot. Too busy for me and I didn’t realize how much that hurt my growing up. Sure he was a good role model in that he was successful but he lacked the ability to guide me through some very heavy and important life lesions. He didn’t know how to treat women; he didn’t know how to socialize and was pretty much a loner.
He did have a few friends by default and this was not his fault. When he was 8 years old, his family traveled to America like many families did in the early 1920’s. The journey was long and his youngest sister contracted some illness and died before they got to Detroit. I am pretty sure he didn’t grieve although I am very sure he must have felt horrible. I am also pretty sure nobody taught him how to grieve. We are going to help you understand how to grieve so you can teach your children.
Once they got to Detroit, my grandfather realized he was homesick for Sudbury Ontario and headed back with my dad’s Brother Leo leaving he and his sister with their mother (my grandmother). She had no skills and god knows how they survived.
I did hear stories growing up on how my grandmother ran a rooming house cooking and cleaning non stop. My dad ran liquor as a teenager during the depression making five cents a barrel of beer delivered. He was around gangsters and criminals most of his childhood.
His mom could not keep up so he put my father in an orphanage he called a boys home.
Can you imaging how he must have felt being abandoned? How could he possible have been a better father for us kids with that kind of experience?
Nobody hands us a manual when we become fathers. We take our collective knowledge and experience and do the best we can. It’s like gambling, sometimes we win, sometimes we loose.
Anyway, meet my mom, Ann Primeau. I interviewed her back in 2003 before she left this planet.