Does every child deserve to be raised in a two-parent family? Not only do I think children deserve both a mother and a father, I believe it is an inalienable right of all children everywhere. This also pertains to two moms, two dads, as well as to heterosexual couples.
As long as there are two loving humans raising a child, I think the child has a much better chance of becoming a happy, healthy adult. For women, I believe that purposefully planning to have a child with no father in the picture is wrong and selfish.
Denying a child a father because your biological clock is running out and you haven’t yet found “your true love” ultimately hurts the child and starts him or her off at a disadvantage. Not only will such a child be “different” from many of his or her friends and schoolmates, but the child will live a life of wondering who his or her father is and where did he or she come from. This also includes single people who want to adopt a child. I think it’s self-serving and not fair to the child. Fathers are just as important as mothers in a child’s life.
If you are widowed, divorced, or a single parent for other reasons, be sure your children have at least one father (or mother) figure in their lives, whether it’s a coach, a teacher, a relative, or another mentor.
Note: This is not in any way meant to diminish a mother’s rights or give prominence to fathers over mothers in a child’s life. Both parents being active in their child’s life is what is best for children. A two-parent family gives a child the best opportunity to grow up healthy and happy and become responsible, kind and loving adults.
The following is an excerpt from The Fatherhood Movemen on the importance of fathers in their children’s lives:
Children who are raised with actively involved fathers tend to score higher on measures of verbal and mathematical ability, and also demonstrate greater problem-solving and social skills.
Children whose fathers are actively involved in their lives are more likely to achieve academic success than children whose fathers are not actively involved. These academic benefits appear to extend into adulthood.
Children with actively involved fathers are less likely to engage in early sexual activity, thus reducing their chances for teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
Children with actively involved fathers are less likely to drop out of school than children with uninvolved fathers.
Children with actively involved fathers are less likely to commit suicide than children with uninvolved fathers.
The benefits of having an active father throughout a child’s early years extend into the teen years as well. Children with active fathers are less likely to commit juvenile crimes than children with inactive fathers.
One of the major benefits that fathers can provide to their children by being actively involved is a sense of security (physical and emotional). By being actively involved in a child’s life, a father promotes a trusting relationship. The child does not have to worry about being abandoned.
Love involves more than saying the words, “I love you.” Fathers who love their children demonstrate their love by spending quality and quantity time together. Children who feel loved are more likely to develop a strong emotional bond with their father and a healthy self- esteem.
Most of the essential life skills that children need to survive are learned within the home. Fathers have a unique opportunity to teach their children valuable skills that will enable them to grow up to be healthy and productive adults.
Fathers, your children need you! Make a commitment to be an active father. Your children will greatly benefit from your involvement in their lives. Wade F. Horn, David Blankenhorn, and Mitchell B. Pearlstein (Eds.), The Fatherhood Movement: A Call to Action. New York: Lexington Books, 1999.
We also have a welfare system in this country that actually makes it more lucrative for mothers to remain single and for fathers to move out of the home. I think we need to create a new system that focuses on keeping families together—one that rewards mothers and fathers if they marry and live together with their children. I believe our welfare system is a hypocritical one.
Research shows that it is vital for fathers to be involved with their children, yet we make it easier for mothers to house, feed and clothe their children if fathers are not in the picture! Child Welfare Information Gateway. Retrieved from http://www.childwelfare.gov/ pubs/factsheets/ long_term_consequences.ctm on February 9, 2016.
Functional Families:
Clearly, raising children in loving homes, where both mother and father are actively involved, is ideal and results in the best outcomes for children and society. My eldest daughter and her husband recently conducted an informal survey among several of their friends and acquaintances whose children are happy, healthy, well behaved, monogamous, and well-adjusted. They found there were four major factors that all of these functional families had in common:
- They all belonged to areligious or other community organization in which they participated as a family.
- All of these families were very involved with their extended family, especially grandparents.
- They all placed a high value on family dinners. Sitting with their children around the dinner table each evening and
talking about their day or just enjoying one another’s company was important. - All of these families had a father or male figure in the home who disciplined the children in a firm manner that was
also fair and loving.