Made by me using canva
They said today is Father's Day. Usually I just ignore it because I had no love for him but as I grew older and realized what he was trying to teach, yes most people say what he taught is a bad thing true he taught all of us the bad things in life and want us to implement it into our lives.
I wish I knew why you should have told me why father so I understand why we need to be cruel because of survival make sense because you were a soldier you're hurting as we speak where most people wouldn't talk to you even own families would not talk to you. But I kept talking to you anyway no matter what we been thorough I wanted to understand why you did what you did.
I understand the lessons way too late you're much older now you walk slowly and sometimes you walk with the help of your cane you even went to the hospital once and all your sons and daughters thought this is it this is the end of you. But everyone was there for you I was seriously worried and I ask myself why am I worried for someone I hate since birth?
From there I understand that I do not understand you so for selfish reason I want you to live a little longer so I can figure you out. You have so much love for your own mother, then why you did wrong to other women must be a reason maybe it's true what people say like father like son. All my life I tried not to be you but maybe I will be soon but not as bad as what you did but I might avoid it all together because I know I am you in order to avoid what will happen to me because you're the living example and proof that I am you.
So if I avoid it, it won't happen to me my life won't be as complicated as yours but you're incredible you manage all that stress alone which I can never do. You're stronger than me in so many areas I had a conversation with my eldest brother about you he told me to forgive you actually I did long time ago. I don't mind the beatings it was nothing really because when I was young I thought that I was suppose to be beaten and cursed at I got so used to it I don't even flinch when people said it to me at work, at school, on the streets etc.
My brother was right other father's would have left because it was hard but you stayed even when you didn't have money to support anyone. Not sure how you did it but you only bought rice 🍚 for us 7 kids 1 wife and 1 you to feed. Then you send all you sons to fish 🎏 in the woods so we have some white meat 🍖 to eat with the rice 🍚
The older I get the more I talk to you because I understand how you think now you think like a soldier to survive and fear last longer than love I hate to admit it but you're right I was using fear long time ago to make sure people are in line but ever since I stop using fear and use love instead people disrespect me left and right wish I kept the fear and get rid of the love.
I'm older now and my fighting days are behind me I think. But old habits never die they say. I don't think I ever said I love you father well let's make this the first then at least you can say that you still have 2 sons that love you because only us two understand you best and the lessons you taught us is one of the most valuable but I was too late to understand it.
Happy Father's Day thank you for all the lessons that you taught me to survive I'm listening 🎧 now and I'm learning finally.