The first wave of feminism began in the 19th and early 20th century and since has continue to undergo several changes.
Yet, we all must stop and ask: HOW FAR HAVE WE GONE?
There is the saying that if anything good must come from the communal, there must be an effective change from the individual.
Effective change starts from every single unit for instance, the family as a unit, the street as a unit, the city, the country etc
But, let us talk about the Family and the place of the woman in the family.
Just yesterday, I was watching a program on Tv. The presenters were talking about family life and one of the presenters said “Women are the bread winners of the family as against public opinion”
For a moment, I stopped to think because it appeared blurry as I come from a family where the financial burden of the family is shared almost equally.
But despite this, my experience doesn't have to be personal before I know what I am to do or say or should so or should say.
Gone are the days when they say EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER, NO! EXPERIENCE USED TO BE A BEST TEACHER.
Sometimes people think and believe that you cannot WRITE about Poverty or riches if you haven’t had an experience of wealth or happiness. Some think you cannot sing powerfully about poverty if you haven’t experienced such and some feel you cannot write about love if you have never been in love.
Hence, left to me PERCEPTION OR INTUITION is the best teacher.
Okay, so I looked around me, my street etc and I realize that indeed Women are the bread winners of the family.
There are women who run the course of the family and without these women, there would be so many children beggars on the road.
Without these women, there would be increased cases of teenage pregnancies and abortions coupled with countless cases of theft and sales of illegal drug.
These women work their whole bodies for the family yet despite their heroic nature, despite their strength, despite the glory and honour they deserve from members of the community, these women go unrecognized.
They become almost non-existent by the gigantic figures of their husbands. They become shadows.
Let me share a few true life stories.
So I have this neighbour that live next door. The woman used to be a house wife and back then she used to follow her husband to his place of work (Woodworks) during weekends. This woman has undergone countless beatings from her husband but who is she to leave anyway?
Yes, who is she? She is dependent, hence, she is almost nothing.
Eventually, her husband built a shop for her in front of their house, stocked it with so many goods. Truly, the woman is a good businesswoman and their lives really transformed positively. She changed the children school to a private school, ever since, their uniforms are always neat with good shoes unlike before where they run around the street because they got sent back from school.
Some would tag this acts as womanly instinct but I see it as being responsible and up to task.
But despite all this, despite the beautiful change the shop has undergone since her husband stocked just very little goods for her in it, despite that, this man still uses this shop against her.
Sometimes he seizes the key to her shop and sometimes he asks her to leave the house and sleep in the shop with their children children.
Also, I have another case just down the street. This one is about a woman, the wife, she goes about working, washing and doing all sorts of jobs for rich people. The woman is not in her forties yet she looks old already, of course!
While this woman work her eyes, nose, legs and hands out, her husband is mostly indoor and claims to be a land agent. It is this woman that holds the family with the little she gets.
This heroic woman deserves to be loved and cared rightly but despite that she is ill-treated by her husband.
Last month, I attended their Son’s wedding, you should have seen the way the man ate, talked and walked like a head, like a functioning husband, like a responsible man… I left the ceremony angrily.
These and so many others that you and I have experienced .
Yes, a lot of people may ask what exactly did these women do wrong? Some may say they nag alot whatever the case, it doesn’t take away the oppression they go through.
Looking at these cases and every other one, I come to the conclusion that the basic things this women lack are EDUCATION and ORIENTATION.
Yes, even rixch, famous and intelligent women are oppressed but I tell you, it even more worse for the less educated and illiterate!