Ladies and gentlemen, subjects of our grand nation.
We have come today to serve and protect you. We are here thinking your and our nations best interest. We, the government, are once again giving you advice on how you should live to be able to take the best use of your life.
News on economy
Members of the ministry have found out people using alternative currencies, which are not followed by the government. This is neither safe or legal.
We all know that alternative currencies are used in illegal activities, like for drugs, tax evasion or animal abuse. If you are using alternative currencies, you are supporting animal abuse. In addition to this, anyone found out to be using alternative currencies can be jailed and all property owned by them and their family can be taken in government possession.
Honest people do not need alternative currencies. They do not try to evade taxes, avoid government control or abuse animals. This is why anyone using alternative currencies is always doing something evil and illegal.
With government currency, none of you need anything else.
News on education
As we, the government, are further improving the education plan for all our youth. As we know, every child has to go through mandatory education program for six years. During this time, they are living with their peers under the loving care and supervision of the education professionals from the ministry appointed officials.
We have now removed the history education from the six years program. As we, the government, know that it is the best if we only look further in the future instead of focusing on our past can we achieve more. However as history is something we can learn from, those who will be sent to the university level studies will still have the mandatory courses of history, pointing out how everything was more dangerous and worse before, alongside with the course of government history.
But as we can remove the history courses from the studies, we now can have more time focusing on more important topics which the government will find more important. We have received a few requests for economy studies, but as the government is here to help and keep control, subjects of the nation do not need economy knowledge.
The extra hours will be dealt to the specific courses the officials have chosen for every individual depending on their career plans, which have been made by government experts.
Health news
One more thing the government has long been worried about is people touching each other. Even though everyone should know the dangers of touching other people, our glorious officers constantly need to chase people foolish enough touching other people.
This is a serious threat to our health. Diseases spread from one human to another, even one touch can be too much and you might spread any kind of deadly illnesses. Last week, our brave officers found two women named Kira and Amelie. They are known to have touched other people and now they have been contracted with several deadly illness. This is why our brave officers have now taken them to jail, where they belong to.
You do not wish the same to happen to you or to your children.
You, subjects of our nation, can help us by tipping of any illegal activities like this. If you have a strong suspicion, leave an anonymous tip to our officers and we can find the evidence. You are the backbone of the country. You are the one who will create the future together with us, the government.
Be brave. Give your life to the government, as we know what is the best for you.
Concluding the news
Give all your love and appreciation to the government. The government makes everything better and safer.
Only government control separates our society from total anarchy. Without us, the government, all what was left would be burning cars and people murdering each other. Don't let it happen. Support us.
