Then, in Illum-Nadine, we talked about non-life. Sebet told me:
"My boy, lifeless, no doubt, will help you. Without temptations and passions your mind will open, and the will increase many times. But the whole secret is to learn how to restrain yourself while still alive! Do not rush into the dead, Arantir, take your time - die first not literally, but figuratively, shut yourself up for temptations, shield yourself from unnecessary pain, do not let the senses get over reason, and you'll be ready for un-life..."
Sebet was right. Years and years I prepared myself for this day. I lost many and remained alone. I have learned many things, I have experienced many things and realized that my heart is the heart of man and, with all the virtues, it hinders me.
I, however, decided on this, not for the sake of getting rid of pain and sorrows, but in order to rise to new heights of spirit and fully devote myself to Asha, to become the vehicle of her will, to merge with her as much as possible. In this and only in this I see now the meaning of my being. There is no one and nothing more with me than the great goddess...
"Are you ready, Lord Aranthir? The return path will not be. Do you understand what you're going to do?"
"I see."
"Unliving will make you powerful, but transition, like true death, can be very painful for you. I have to warn you."
"I accept this. I am willing to endure this for Asha."
Endure suffering for the last time, on the last day of your worldly life, not to your enemies, but to Asha to give the last blows of your heart, your last breath...
"Come, worthy. Everything is ready, you are expected."
...That day I died and reborn again, stronger than before.
Too often I began to indulge in memories, it's time to stop this. My soul must be strong and do not waste anything, like the heart of a living one. That's enough, Aranthir.
"Vladyka Arantir... Excuse me, I interrupted your meditation?! The fact is that the lords from the provinces have gathered and are waiting for you..."
"Thank you. Everything is fine. Let them wait, in a few minutes I will be in the council room."
To be continued
Thank you for reading!