The Techno-Chamber
Deep, deep within the Compound…
“Blobdammit!” A visibly frustrated Dr. Summeroff blurts out from his workstation in the Order’s Technology Chamber.
This area of the compound is different than the others. The compound is built within the Earth and it’s walls are the very rock which was blasted through to make room for the underground fortress. Lights run across the ceiling and through the tunnels linking the various Cavernous ‘departments’. Agriculture, Science, Combat, Medicine, Wine and Whiskey…they all have their own dedicated caverns with corresponding sleeping quarters for the acolytes. Sub branches from the tunnel system lead to specialty areas – the stone stairs leading up to the ground floor where Summeroff and the High Priests conduct business, another leads to the Blob’s Antechamber...
…and then there is this area – the Technology wing. Here, the rooms are immaculate, the only sound the hum of fans and the cooling system. Off to the side is the server room, where all the Order’s computers are connected to.
Summeroff throws his coffee at one of the walls of the Techno room, adding a sharp contrast with black against the pristine white walls.
“Easy…” Buzi says, noticing the splash just missed one of the work-stations.
“Easy nothing! Do you know what just happened???”
Abishag turns slowly towards the old Doctor.
“I was talking to BUZI!” Summeroff roars at Abishag. “THIS is…it’s all over YOUR head. YOU wouldn’t understand…”
Abishag smashes his hand down upon one of the workstation tables. “I’ve taken enough of your abuse these past few weeks! You will show me some respect…or one of THESE TWO can come out of retirement and help you overthrow McStrumps!”
Abishag nods in the direction of Buzi and Abaddon.
“Yes….” Summeroff says, shocked for a brief moment as the insubordination from Abishag. It reminded him of that time many years ago when Abaddon also rebelled. In fact, Abaddon ended up almost destroying the order…well in this reality anyway. In one of the realities the Blob had shown him, it was more just a nuisance with the acolyte teaming up with the disgusting Jaguar and a fellow named Demon.
The old bastard continues, “You are right Abishag. Where were my manners? Come over here. IF you can solve my problem, I’ll retire right here and now and YOU can lead the Order. Ok?”
Abishag walks over, not wanting to lead anything but curious what had Summeroff so perturbed.
“So before I show you this, understand something. The money around here isn’t flowing like it used to. At one time, in both this universe and the alternate one the Blob showed me – ALL three of you were Champions. Buzi, You were the Champion in some mickey mouse fed called Kapow. The owner was a crackpot but it paid it’s champion well. Abaddon, you had it a bit tougher but were the champion in ICW…well at least when Merciless wasn’t paying bribes to the owner…”
“Who is Merciless?” Abaddon says.
“No one. Apparently in this world, he doesn’t exist…anyway, then there was you Abishag. YOU were the WECW…or something Champion…and then you fought in ROW. Indeed, that world was very much like a mirror of this one…The blob showed me horrible things for you…you were submerged once in a boiling pool! A boiling pool match they called it…I THINK they should bring THAT back…I’d love to see O’Brien tossed into the boiling pool...as it is Abishag, only by the grace of Blob were you saved from the horrible burns you suffered…”
Abaddon, Abishag and Buzi all stare blankly.
“YES, I have a point! The point is all three of you were champions! The money was flowing in like rivers! Now…well look…Salinas holds the Franchise Title still! And Abaddon and Buzi – your both retired…but I guess that’s something. In the world the Blob showed me – Buzi – YOU are dead. Shot right outside the walls of this very compound as the forces that caused the Fall of Detroit also laid siege to this very place!!!...anyway, Money is tight. The Compound is in need of repairs. The pipes are cracking and dripping through the ceiling, the heat doesn’t work very well, the training areas need new equipment. Even the Blob Tank is in need of repair. There’s a small crack in it and tiny amounts of the Blob’s essence are seeping out! So I did what all the cool kids are doing these days…”
There is a pause as the doctor points at the screen of his computer.
You see this?” Summeroff spits out pointing to the screen. A window was open. Software of some kind. “THIS…is a digital wallet my friends. On here is digital currency…Crypto-Currencies! If the Winklevoss Twins can get rich with this, why not us? The Blob has shown us the way…”
Summeroff pauses again, his face becoming a shade of red. His hand begins to twitch.
“Oh, there were many precious coins here and the value spiked…I was ready to sell…”
Buzi looks at the screen and sees a balance section of the wallet and an amount of zero.
“I don’t see anything there…” Buzi says.
“THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S GONE!!!” Summeroff shouts, “ALL GONE!!!”
“Where did it go?” Abishag asks.
“I DON’T KNOW WHERE IT WENT!…it just…went! It disappeared…all my precious coins! GONE!”
“How much are we talking about?” Abaddon asks.
Summeroff pauses, then answers, “As you all know, finances have been tight this year. We aren’t selling enough of the Wine or the Spirits as in years past. We don’t have as many acolytes out in the Feds making money in the wrestling rings like we once did. The price of Hydro has gone up terribly. You’d think we were in Ontario being gouged by that no good bleeding heart Liberal – the right and vile Kathleen Wynne. Then again, we are here and it’s bad enough our tax dollars have gone to built that wall for that idiot McStrumps! Indeed, money is scarce…and so I needed to find a new revenue stream.”
“But you don’t know anything about Crypto-currencies. How could you spend our last dollars on that stuff!? You risked the last of the Order’s money on that?”
“HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME! I should have you thrown into the Blob’s tank for this outrage! HE will show you the wisdom of the new age! We must adapt to the times.”
“So you say the coins just disappeared?” Buzi says, suspecting there was more to this.
“Well…I…I updated the digital wallet…the coins were staked…but I guess they need to be available…I don’t know! I bet this is Takuma Sato’s fault…or Salinas….those two have had it in for us right from the start. It should have been those two we beat down at Ultra Slam instead of Kronin and O’Brien…”
Summeroff stands up.
“Anyway, after some very careful thougt, I refuse to accept it was anything I did. The evidence points to a break-in. Someone sabotaged us. I demand a full systemic analysis of our security systems – with specific focus on our storage systems and firewalls. I want to know we weren’t hacked and my precious coins taken from me! If they were, I want to know who did it…get someone who knows about blockchains and reading those logs and stuff and find out what happened to my coins…and in case it was an inside job, I’ve contracted Brother Janus to get me a guard dog…there…look…”
They all look at a monitor up in the corner of the room. Brother Janus has arrived holding a box.
“There he is now. Let him in”,Summeroff commands. Abaddon presses a button on a console and the Technology room door slides open…it gets about halfway, makes a grinding sound and then opens all the way.
“You see that?” Summeroff barks. “That is exactly why we need more money. Things are falling apart all around us…”
Brother Janus enters the room and places the box on the table.
“What’s this?” Summeroff inquires.
“It’s the new guard dog. He’s in there…”
“That’s a pretty small box Janus. What kind of dog is this?”
Summeroff nods and Abishag open the box and removes the mutt from within.
He puts it on the table. It’s a hideous looking thing – a cross between a Boston Terrier and what appears to be a common housefly. It looks very much like Jeff Goldblum in full Brundlefly mode - after he sheds his outer flesh - from ‘The Fly’.
“Is this some kind of joke?” Summeroff asks, looking at the creature, his mouth stretched out in a rictus of terror. “What is this…thing?”
“This is Simon”, Janus says.
“What a monster”, Abishag says, genuinely repulsed. “Is he sick? Why does he look that way?”
Summeroff watches the reaction of his high priests and begins to rethink his opinion of ‘Simon’…he may not be a traditional guard dog – large and fierce…but he was peculiar looking and had people thinking.
“This mongrel may actually be fine…look how he terrifies you all! Janus, put it outside this room. Tie it off on the door handle. If he does his job, I’ll feed it. If not…well then there are lots of dogs out there, aren’t there?”
“That’s cruel!” Abaddon says.
“What’s cruel is I’ve lost my COINS!!! MY COINS! That’s what’s cruel. Janus! Go forth! Find my coins. Find out what happened. If I don’t have my coins back in a week, YOU will be the Blob’s next sacrifice!!”
They all look at the large monitor on the far wall where a camera is on the Blob’s tank. In the tank – the remains of the police officers who tazered and arrested them all at Ultra Slam can be seen floating. The Blob’s biomass continues to digest chunks of them.
“You see what happens when you cross the will of Blob? Find my coins!”
Janus runs off.
“So speaking of money…THIS came today”, Summeroff says matter of factly and hands the UOW contract to Abishag regarding his next match.
Abishag reads over the document slowly, “Vastrix and I against Abigail Dresden and…SALINASSSSSSS!”
“YES….” Summeroff says, smiling.
Simon’s ears perk up at the name.
“You see that? Even Simon can’t stand her. That vile woman, hiding, fighting amateurs like Sato…NOW her reckoning has arrived…and Abby Dresden…well she’s already felt the Wrath of Blob, hasn’t she? Apparently she hasn’t learned her lesson Abishag. You will destroy them. Both of them. Let’s hope Vastrix is up to the challenge and can hold up his end of the bargain.”
Summeroff pauses to stoop and drop Simon a treat – a small cracker made from the Blob’s own essence. The demanding animal eats it in one bite and shortly after, it’s eyes seem to glaze over.
“Yessssss….now Simon is ready…look at him – how he stares. He too has seen the master’s light…”
Summeroff looks directly into Simon’s eyes, “Yes, my point, know your purpose…if any unauthorized personnel come into this room, you must feast on their bones. Leave no flesh undevoured. Speak if you understand!”
Simon growls.
“I think this mutt and I are going to get along just fine…just fine….”
After a moment, the Doctor looks at his charges. “Go…begin the training immediately. There can be no defeat. We break Salinas here…Her and her pathetic trainee. We have waited long enough. The Franchise title must be ours. We must show Mudcock that continuing to go against the will of blob will only end in pain for him – and that means LOST REVENUE. We will cripple the golden goose! If he will not give us a title shot, we will take the Franchise title by force.”
Abishag nods along with the other and they head off to the training area.
Summeroff stoops down and picks up Simon and pets the monstrosity.
“It’s all falling into place now, isn’t it Simon?...where did they get you anyway?”
Summeroff sees a Michigan Dog tag. He grunts.
“Well your part of the Order now. The Blob is your new master. Better get used to it…”
He puts the dog down and brings up an image of Salinas on the monitor.
“Simon…That one is all that stands between us and turning this country against McStrumps…the Champion of UOW wields enormous influence. Influence that Mudcock doesn’t want us to have…but we will anyway. My Abishag is truly unstoppable. When he’s done with Salinas and Dresden, I’ll send YOU in Simon to consume their souls…”
Summeroff begins to laugh – a loud, long bellowing thing that echoes down the halls of the order and chills their spirits.
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