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Once upon a time there was a fluffy girl called Charlotte England. She was on the way to see her Barry Torrance, when she decided to take a short cut through St James's Park.
It wasn't long before Charlotte got lost. She looked around, but all she could see were trees. Nervously, she felt into her bag for her favourite toy, Piglet, but Piglet was nowhere to be found! Charlotte began to panic. She felt sure she had packed Piglet. To make matters worse, she was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, she saw a long-necked fox dressed in a red jacket disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Charlotte.
For the want of anything better to do, she decided to follow the peculiarly dressed fox. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Charlotte reached a clearing. In the clearing were two houses, one made from peas and one made from jelly babies.
Charlotte could feel her tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease her hunger.
"Hello!" she called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
Charlotte looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Charlotte a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Piglet!
"Piglet!" shouted Charlotte. She turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Piglet back!" cried Charlotte.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Piglet out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, the long-necked fox in the red jacket rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the cleaning.
"Hello Big Fox," said the witch.
"Good morning." The fox noticed Piglet. "Who is this?"
"That's Piglet," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Piglet would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the fox.
The witch shook her head. "Piglet is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." Charlotte interrupted. "Piglet lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Fox ignored her. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Fox looked at the house made from jelly babies and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from jelly babies if I wanted to."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Piglet."
Charlotte watched, feeling very worried. She didn't want the witch to give Piglet to Big Fox. She didn't think Piglet would like living with a long-necked fox, away from her house and all her other toys.
Big Fox put on his bib and withdraw a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Fox. "Just you watch!"
Big Fox pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from jelly babies. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Fox started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of jelly babies, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Fox.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Fox never finished eating the front door made from jelly babies and Piglet remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Piglet."
"Not so fast," said Charlotte. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from peas. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give her a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the fox. She won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said Charlotte.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Piglet back."
Charlotte ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. She came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, she broke off a piece of the door of the house made from peas and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, she took a bite. She quickly devoured the whole piece.
Charlotte sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained Charlotte. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When Charlotte's food had digested, she broke off another piece of the door made from peas. Once more, she toasted her food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. She ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Charlotte was down to the final piece of the door made from peas. Carefully, she toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. She finished her final course. Charlotte had eaten the entire front door of the house made from peas.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little girl won fair and square. Now hand over Piglet or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Charlotte hurried over and grabbed Piglet, checking that her favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Piglet was unharmed.
Charlotte thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Barry. It was starting to get dark.
When Charlotte got to Barry's house, her threw his arms around her.
"I was so worried!" cried Barry. "You are very late."
As Charlotte described her day, she could tell that Barry didn't believe her. So she grabbed a napkin from her pocket.
"What's that?" asked Barry.
Charlotte unwrapped a doorknob made from jelly babies. "Pudding!" she said.
Barry almost fell off his chair.
The End