Enough With Your Booming Fence

Dear James,

I have always felt relieved living near to you. You are the most beautiful neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud singing.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your fence is too booming and your walls way too untidy. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a speaker

I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud singing from upsetting me. I demand that you paint the fence .

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your loud music increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a classy neighbourhood like Little Oaks.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the neighbourhood watch and post photos of your loud singing on Tumblr.

Furthermore, I have close ties with the mafia and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
F. M. Tiny-Arrow