#6: Sorry Boys...you're dead
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Dale just looked at the four old men….coffee halfway to his lips.“oh”...he finally said “ It did huh?”
“It did get you” repeated the minister. “You went right under it. Eight drive tires and eight trailer tires ran over you. It was loaded heavy too. They had to pick you up with a squeegee and a spoon.”
“And my bike?” asked Dale “ Was it alright? Tell it to me straight. I can take it.”
The minister grinned. “Oddly enough it escaped all harm. You were thrown free you see. The truck missed the bike but it got you.”
“Ah good” Dale said…“I really liked that bike. My Honda 305 SuperHawk.”
Dale frowned and thought a minute then said “If that truck had run over my bike the trucks tires might have been damaged. I work at a grain elevator. I know some truckers. Those tires are expensive”
Everyone grinned at that.
Mike looked up about then with a puzzled expression on his face. “Are you saying we are all dead? How can I be dead. I didn’t go under any semi.”
The Holy Men looked at Mike in sorrow. “Do you remember that sandstorm?” One asked.
“Heh” grinned Mike “Yeah I do. I chased a JackRabbit..MAN can those thing go. Almost run into a …………ooops..”
“Yeah….Oooooops…...You were a real cut up, you were” said the rabbi shaking his head. “Your bike went right under that fence but you didn’t...your slid down it sideways at forty miles per hour. It cut you up like a band saw. It damn near cut you into three pieces. You bled out in a heartbeat. Literally. More coffee?”
He signaled the waitress who came by to warm up all their cups.
“Even better” said the rabbi. “Your body was never found...or it hasn’t been yet and it’s been months. You and that fence had a high speed bloody embrace square in the middle of several sections of un-farmed CRP land. No one has any reason to go out there until pheasant season. That’ll be a while yet. The sand was blowing and covered your body, and your motorcycle. It’s possible you might never be found. That’s a rare feat in today’s day and age.
Congratulations.”
“Wow” said Tom and Dale in unison.
“High Five” and they all slapped hands.
Willy looked amused and signaled the waitress for more pie.
All four of Heaven’s Riders’ shook their heads mournfully. These kids now days...no respect.
Tom looked at them all. “That is all fine and good. Those two guys are jocks” he said carefully ignoring Willy’s grin. Willy was at least five years older and much, MUCH bigger.
“I’m not a jock. I’m a high school student planning on going to college next term. I just ride a motorcycle because it’s cheap. I never leave town.” Tom said
The holy men looked at him with hound dawg eyes. They looked at each other and finally a voice murmured.
“Well Tom it’s like this.” the catholic priest, a Jesuit, said “ When you hit those brakes your bike skidded on that brick road. You went over the handlebars of your bike and stuck your head right through the little car’s rear window.”
“I did?” said Tom...wide eyed. Tom was a Nerd. He wasn’t the least bit acrobatic’
“Wow” said Mike
“Cooool” said Dale
All three boys were listening to the priest wide eyed. He had their total attention.
“You Broke the rear glass with your helmet...Tom. That was a good idea wearing a helmet. Safety first. Trouble is it broke your neck from the impact. And the sharp glass cut your head right off. They didn’t put safety glass in the rear window for some reason. Your head kept flying and bounced off the windshield, which shattered...that WAS safety Glass.”
“Two Windows !. “ said Mike “You broke two windows in one crash!”
“You really used your head there Tom” said Dale “You sure your names not Icobod Crane? The headless bikeman?”
Tom kinda grinned a bit. He’d never been much for being the center of attention. Especially not for something physical. For something cerebral, like solving a quadratic equation or writing a report on tumbleweed migration...he could do that, but admiration for doing something physical was new. He kinda liked it.
“ Your noggin lost all forward momentum right about then and fell into the seat beside the old lady.“ continued the priest, sipping on coffee” That old gal turned to look and got drenched with blood pumping from your neck…it was like a firehose. Your headless body was laying across the trunk of that little two seat car right behind her pumping blood all over the inside of that car, for about a minute till it ran out of blood.”
“She screamed a lot and lost control and crashed.” He said.
“She was still screaming when the cops arrived. Your head was in her lap.” He finished.
The two boys...Dale and Mike were enthralled. Two broke windows and a hysterical woman, all at once. He even had his head in her lap. That was kind of like getting to first base! Hard to beat that.
Willie had not been impressed.
Boys.
He was, however impressed with the coconut pie. He was on his third piece and about his fifth cup of coffee. He was a growing boy and needed his food.
Oh well...he might as well play along.
“Ahem. how bout me?”
Almost everyone started laughing. The “heavens riders” were trying to be discrete...the three boys were hysterical..
“What?” said Willy.
“Um... what might that be sticking out of your side Willy my lad?” asked the Lutheran with a twinkle in his eye.
Willy looked down at the handle of the switchblade jutting out of his kidney. “Oh...That”.
He pulled it out with one hand while he cut a piece of pie with his fork. He held the knife close to his while he examined it in the light….while taking a bit of pie. “A cheap Korean knock off of a Chinese import of a bootlegged Filipino blade. Pitiful.”
Everyone laughed the harder.
...........To be Continued.............
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