Read the first part here and the second part here.
The air was thin and the hours were growing strange. Except, of course, she didn’t know if she’d been gone for hours. Or perhaps a few minutes. Yes, it couldn’t have been quite that long, because look, there was still light out in the sky, though it was growing far away. Like it was running away from her and Cara understood yet another thing she’d failed to think about, in the making of her plan.
That she would have to be in the forest in the darkness and she would have to face the beast alone and without really seeing. And she couldn’t breathe and it felt cold outside, even though she’d just been there and it hadn’t been cold then. But now, it was like she couldn’t live here, and yet she could not go back. Not now, not when she was already outside the house. Even if she did somehow manage to pull herself back in through the window before nanny noticed her absence, it would be too late, because this opportunity, she felt certain, would never come her way again. And if she turned back now, she could bid goodbye to Christopher and to any life outside the home.
And for the first time in what felt like eons, Cara spoke. She whispered to herself, in the growing dark, the word ‘no’. And although it didn’t sound exactly like Christopher had said it, it didn’t sound wrong either.
She breathed. Steady, without thinking too much about it, she trudged on, headed for the woods and allowed the tall trees to pull her in.
Cara wasn’t too deep in – she knew, she’d turned twice to look at the mansion, make sure it was still there behind her – when she first heard the noises. It sounded like a voice, at first, though much, much dimmer than what a voice should be. Like a person stuck at the bottom of a well, crying up to the world, so as not to be forgotten. Cara had never been so close to the trees and she felt small, listening to the noise and walking between the thick trees, she felt surrounded.
But then, she realized it wasn’t a voice, after all. It had never been Christopher, not even for a second, but now, it wasn’t even human. It was like the woods were whining about something strange and sad. Maybe that’s why Christopher had come towards the forest, she thought, because it was sad like him.
A swish of movement out of the corner of her eye and if Cara would’ve been a normal girl, she would’ve let out a scream just then, she would’ve allowed the fright to eat her up whole, but she knew better than that. Cara wasn’t supposed to scream because nanny got angry. And even though she was fairly certain nanny couldn’t hear her now, not yet at least, why risk it?
She turned, though not towards where the movement had been, but to where it was heading. It would be silly expecting it to be in the same place.
‘No,’ she said again, a little louder this time. It was her first word outside the house and it felt like the only one she was allowed to say.
And the trees seemed to answer her, they seemed to say ‘yes’. A soft, sorrowful murmur filling her ears and pricking her skin. Yes. And the trees were right, if she was to save him, she would have to stay and meet the beast head on, even though she was terrified, even though she felt it deep in her soul and her body, especially her tummy, which felt like she really needed to go to the toilet.
But there was no time for thoughts of toilets. Cara saw them, two perfectly round beads, perfectly white, like teddy’s eyes, except teddy’s were pitch black. Yes, she remembered now, that was the color. The color of her hair, like teddy’s eyes and the thing with marble-white eyes took a step closer toward her, threatening to leave its hiding place between the trees and come biting out. And she forgot about her hair and she wanted to run, but at the same time, no no no. She screamed the word as loud as she could, even though nanny could hear, even though anyone could hear her, even the beast. She screamed at it – no – and the word traveled like fire through her body, her back, her bones, her face and her black hair.
The beast was tall, much taller than Cara, and it came out towering above her. And there was no trace of Christopher and she thought, for the first time, that maybe she’d made a mistake after all. Maybe the beast didn’t have him, though it had her now. And just as quickly as it had come, her courage left her and she felt her stomach turn to ashes and something melting inside. And she turned to run back toward the house, but it was far too late, because the beast had her now and how could she be so stupid? Of course the beast would get her, that is what beasts do, she was always going to be caught and now, she would never see Christopher, because Christopher definitely didn’t know about the beast and surely, wouldn’t come looking for her. Maybe he wouldn’t come at all if he heard she was no longer there, but he had to come, because what would happen to teddy and doll if Christopher didn’t have them? Nanny would just throw them away and they would go away unloved and abandoned, they’d think she’d abandoned them and Cara started crying, the beast’s grip tightening around her bony shoulders and she kicked at it because it wouldn’t really be fair at all if they thought–
Nothing. They would think nothing, because the beast’s claws release her as soon as they grabbed her and the white-eyed monster crawls back into its lair and allows another to swoop in and pick up little Cara.
Nanny doesn’t stop to soothe the crying child, but then, nanny isn’t like that. She pulls her, by the arm and the hair and whatever else she can get her hand on, drags her back into the house, screaming all the while. It’s not often nanny lets loose and in all her life, Cara’s only heard her screaming like that once, after the incident, when Cara was little and her finger got cut and something else happened that she doesn’t quite understand, but she might soon.
But right now, Cara is relieved, because she’s safe again and as soon as her boots are taken off, she runs into the parlor and hugs teddy and doll tight to her heart. Her friends she thought she’d never see again. And she screams. She screams ‘no’ when nanny yanks her friends away, because nanny’s never done that before. Always, she was allowed to play with teddy and doll. Even after the incident. But Cara’s never done something quite so bad and she says ‘please’ and the words are bubbling out of her.
And the more she speaks, the angrier nanny becomes with her and the last thing Cara sees is teddy and doll hitting the far wall and falling, somehow still abandoned on the floor.
But then, she’s pulled away, dragged behind the stairs and she knows what’s coming and her screams go louder, because she doesn’t want that.
When Cara is good, they allow her to go outside and play in the grass. But when Cara is bad, they take her under the stairs. Nanny takes her under the stairs, always nanny. And she sits, locked in the darkness, in the little room under the stairs, where there isn’t silence. Cara could handle silence, because silence is something she understands. But the house is old and it creaks and it whimpers. And as she sits in the dark, listening to the house, she sees those white eyes before her, peering, calling her back out to play.
to be continued