The four lesser horsemen of Panic, Bewilderment, Ignorance and Shouting took control of the room. -- Knitnan
There's a reason why lesser horsemen are lesser horsemen. They can't help but be what they are. Panic is a whirlwind of anxiety. Bewilderment can't find their own arse with an atlas. Ignorance says all the things your racist in-law does that just make you want to burn and die from the shame. Shouting is almost a relief, because all they are is LOUD.
And when they work with the Big Four, things get... complicated.
"Sorry I'm late," said Bewilderment. "Couldn't find my... thing. Four legs. Goes 'neigh'."
"HORSE!"
Panic shrieked. "Don't do that," they demanded.
"...honestly, the way the three of you carry on," grumbled Ignorance in their typical And-Another-Thing voice. "...don't really need the [SLUR]s and the [WORSE SLUR]s taking over our jobs, starving our families, pumping out babies like fleas... if the three of you just tried harder, we'd be up there with the big ones, I tell you... spend an eternity honing your skills and then nobody hires you because the [HOLY SHIT, REALLY?]s are living twenty to a room and raking it in on drugs and welfare while you lot can't even find a steady bed mate..."
"Where are we and what are we doing?" said Bewilderment.
THERE'S A DISEASE OUTBREAK IN THIS SHOPPING CENTRE, said Death. One of the aforementioned Big Four. DO TRY TO PAY ATTENTION.
"...too proud to flip burgers, what's the matter with this generation... they think they can just let the [WHOA NELLY!]s just walk all over us decent folk..."
"There's a disease?" Panic squawked. "Is it contagious? Are we gonna catch it? Are we gonna die?"
"Sure I left my manifested instrument over here just a second ago... lose my own head, next."
"YOU DON'T HAVE A HEAD! YOU LITERALLY LOST IT IN A SHOPPING RUSH THIRTY YEARS AGO, YOU GREAT NINNY!"
"We're gonna die! We're gonna die!" Panic was running around in little circles and crying.
I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY, said Death.
[AN: Tip of the entire hatrack to Sir Pterry. You are loved and you are missed.]
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / germanjames]
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