Doctor: Human, you need to take it easy. Rest. Don't do anything strenuous for the next week.
Human: Alright, I'll stay at home and watch the kids.
Doctor: From what I know of human young, that is strenuous. -- Escla
[AN: Pffffft...]
The Humans had a saying for everything. Some have been adjusted slightly to be more inclusive, but the relevant one in this time and space was, No being is an island. Perhaps, with an added dash of, It takes a village to raise a child.
The Ships' Human, Orgo, had painfully sprained a large number of muscles on the last mission and, since he was intimately bonded with Human Lun, ze had taken over active duties whilst Orgo was under orders to rest.
Which left their child's maintenance under a large question mark, according to the rest of the crew. A family unit of Ships' Humans was good luck, many agreed, but a Human youngling was... problematic at best. Having seen what Humans did to 'child proof' their habitation, it was more than alarming when the small Human Pib figured out how to hack the main door lock before they had quite finished with their toilet training[1].
Since Human Orgo was on some fairly interesting pain medication, his declaration that he would 'watch the kids' could only raise more alarm among the crew of the Jaunty Merchant. Therefore, they devised both cunning plan and schedule.
They stopped by to "keep Orgo company," but also to help out with the domestic duties and keep a minimum of one pair of eyes on the diminutive and dangerous Human Pib. They would operate in teams of three at minimum and five at maximum, reasoning that this was plenty to, if not contain the small Human, at least raise the alarm if they escaped again.
They needn't have bothered. Since Pib's last escape, both parentals have discovered a small Human's irresistible attraction: edutainment cartoons and a large container of small toys.
Human Orgo lay on the couch, between him and the display was a mess mat upon which Pibb sat, staring in awe at brightly-coloured figures as they taught important things like not hitting your friends with thrown objects, how to eat with cutlery, and other vital knowledge. Most of them accompanied by song.
Pibb noticed the visitors after a small handful of hours and solemnly announced, "Papa owies," whilst pointing to Orgo's splinted leg. There had been efforts to make it 'better' by adding stickers to the splints and bandaging.
There was a stock of adhesive medical strips in the home medik supplies that bore brightly-coloured images. As medicinal supplies, they were nearly useless, and almost at the level of placebo when it came to administering aid to an injury. No doubt the child had drawn a similarity between the colourful stickers and the amelioration to their own small injuries.
Orgo surfaced from their haze of medication. "Hey, squirt," he croaked. "You're doing a great job looking after me." A wink at the visiting crew. "Can you find me some water?"
Pib nodded and went through a rather involved process of refilling Orgo's straw-bottle. The rest of the attending crew were told to allow Pib to do it themself. It was a duty that the small human took very seriously, as they lectured the crew on how only they did it "the bestest-estest."
There was much ado about dragging the step-stool hither and yon, as well as carefully filling the straw-bottle up to the special mark. Pib did all of it with the seriousness of a fully-armed space marine who had told the Last Lie and was determined to hold the choke point until their last gasp.
It was almost too adorable.
The crew restrained themselves, though, and allowed the small child to play at looking after their parent. It was nothing more than minimal tasks, but the kid was taking it seriously. Orgo was amused, but let it happen.
"You nap more," ordered Pib. "I stay guard."
"Good kiddo," Orgo patted Pib's head. "You take good care of your Papa."
Orgo made sure Pib had enough snacks and drinks as the child resumed viewing their entertainments. He looked up from his roost to the crew. "See? It isn't so hard."
The crew, who had face Pib armed with a lollipop and a screwdriver, looked at each other nervously. Humans truly were creatures to be feared.
[1] This has happened to many Human parents across the ages. Human toddlers are more than adept at finding trouble before it's lost and this has raised further questions about how the species managed to make it as far as space travel.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / asasirov]
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