A human, intent on preparing a treat for havenworlder shipmates, orders a large amount of sugar. Due to a mix-up somewhere along the line, this human receives a large delivery of sugarcane instead and, well, "waste not, want not" -- Anon Guest
"Wait. Why is this shipment in bales? I said 'boxes'..." Human Thal checked their invoice archives. "That's a 'B' in the receipt, but it doesn't say what that stands for... Oh shit, that's a big number..."
Something had yet again gone wrong with the Ships' Human who refused to use Rosetta Stone translation software when ordering from Alliance corporations who also refused to use Rosetta Stone software. No matter how many times the crew insisted that the software was useful, Human Thal insisted that it was a way to monitor activities.
Besides, Human Thal insisted, all network shops were identical. How badly could anyone possibly flakk things up? Everyone who knew the inherent prejudices of the Universe knew better than to ask questions that gave it the opportunity for demonstrations.
Thusly, Human Thal watched in growing confusion as a growing number of rectangular prisms entered the cargo bay. Twenty. Thirty. Forty. Fifty. A full hundred prisms big enough to be a minimal sleeping space for a Human.
"What," said Human Thal, "the actual flakk?"
"One hundred bale, sugar," said the handler. "Delivering in full."
"Uh. Thank you?" Human Thal signed where indicated and, only once everything was sorted, dared inspect one, cracking the seal. "What? This is completely organic flakking sugarcane. How? How did I get a hundred bales of fully hydrated fresh flakking sugarcane? For two hours including postage and handling?"
Companion Fai, who had been anticipating something of the sort, double-checked the receipt. "On the positive side, that is something of a bargain..."
"Well, yeah, you're not wrong," sighed Human Thal. "I wanted pure sugar, because the unadulterated stuff from this lot still contains a lot of non-friendly compounds in there. I'm going to have to refine all of this myself."
This was not the depressing revelation that Companion Fai expected. "You are not -er- 'put down' by this news?"
"Dude. That's a whole lot of cellulose as well as the assorted chemistry... We can all have candy-scented paper notebooks or something. Even when I get to the dessert crafting, that's a lot of bonus material."
Companion Fai started counting in hir head. Here it came. Any second now...
"When I'm done with all that, I'm gonna order from these guys again. Flakk it, they're getting an extra tip to their cause."
Right on time.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / bdspn]
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