Five Times Human Pib got Stuck and Needed to be Rescued, and One Time Human Pib did the Rescuing. -- Anon Guest
[AN: Mandatory callback link Which is but one tale among many.]
Fact: The Humans aboard the Jaunty Merchant had reproduced. This was not a great impact on the functioning of the ship as a whole until their spawn, a Human named Pib, learned to move around independently. Human Pib, in short succession, learned problem-solving skills and fast became a problem for the rest of the crew.
Fact: Human Pib was, in the words of their parentals, "a flakking little Houdini." This, the crew soon found out, meant that Human Pib had a knack for circumventing increasingly intricate security protocols and escaping their domicile habitat when they were bored. Or when they were curious. Or when they missed someone. Or when they wanted to find someone funny.
Fact: There were numerous times when Pib's ambition to get somewhere outstretched their ability to return to relative safety. This, of course, lead to the impromptu Pib Rescue Team. On the plus side, it did explain why the Humans Orgo and Lun complained about being tired all the time. Keeping up with a larval Human was a full-time occupation for a team of five at best. At least, that was the consensus of the Jaunty Merchant's crew.
Fact: Pib could move faster than the tracing technology in their tracker/safety anklets and bracelets. This meant that their location was anyone's guess until the crew could collectively spring for a faster tracing system. This lead to... surprises. Most commonly involving tracking down where the larval Human was by the noises of distress. Or just finding them in the access tubes.
The first time the crew of the Jaunty Merchant learned this, someone heard a wailing complaint from inside a locked access hatch. Since the onboard Skitties all had implants that let them pass through such, they opened it in curiosity. There, crawling from their perch atop a long ladder, was Human Pib. They were pre-verbal, so all their complaints were in a language the other Humans called 'scribble'.
The second time, the ship had set a general low-urgency alert to notify the crew whenever Pib left an area in and around the family domicile space without the company of a full crewmember. The flaw in this cunning plan came with the revelation that the tracing system had a wider margin of error than they had previously presumed. Also, that the Jaunty Merchant was small enough that Pib could register as being in the company of any full crewmember, anywhere they went.
In this case, Pib had tried to wriggle through some temporary wiring and got caught in the tangle. The inconsolable howling brought the maintenance crew to their location better than the tracker/safety jewelry did.
The third time, the crew left the alerts to Humans Orgo and Lun, who were much faster at noticing that Pib was not where they were supposed to be. Even then, the were not that much faster.
There was a brief snapping noise and a screech of pain as the lights went out. Techie Laasq turned on their headlamp and oriented on the source of the squealing to find Human Pib. Hurt, but not injured, after making the discovery that moist hands and uninsulated wiring joins do not mix well. Safety features had kicked in mere instants after the short caused by those little hands had caused any significant trouble. They would never leave a project like that without protective measures again.
The fourth such incident is known simply as the Lollipop Debacle.
As for the fifth, nobody knows how Pib managed to get into that maintenance equipment storage bay. Pib couldn't explain it, either. But, by the time someone found them, they were sleeping peacefully in the middle of the four floor-cleaning bots that they had partially disassembled.
Therefore, you can understand the general miasma of panic that permeated the atmosphere of the Jaunty Merchant when the pirates took over. Human Orgo had been injured, and was now stable but still unconscious in Lun's arms. The rest of the crew were with them in the empty cargo bay that had become their communal prison.
Captain Xorg made sure all the crew were at minimum not in medical distress, ran a head count, and settled by the Humans. All before a dread thought invaded just like the pirates had. "Where's Pib?"
Lun said, "Last time I saw them, I'd put them down for a nap in the playpen. That was... Oh shit..."
Every crewmember knew what that oh shit meant. It meant Pib had escaped the first minimal security measure and could be anywhere. Their first concern was not for Pib's personal safety, though that was a close second. They wondered how the inexperienced pirates were going to deal with the little bundle of trouble that was a larval Human.
The short answer was: very, very badly.
The long answer involved the distant sounds of stunner fire, several short circuits of key ships' functions, numerous pirates not answering their comms, and their captain screaming, "It's a flakking infant! How much trouble could it possibly be?" into their comms.
Nothing good ever happens to people who ask questions like that.
Fact: Pib had learned that the Skitties liked catnip.
Fact: Pib had also learned how to make small rockets using balloons and a small basket with a payload.
Fact: Those two in combination were a fast recipe for shipwide chaos.
Also a fact: Humans Orgo and Lun had invented a treat called "pebo nomnoms" that they used as a vessel to deliver a minor medication Pib had needed, but did not like. A treat that Pib could make and then store in their coverall pocket.
It was the kind of treat that was inherently bad for -say- the cheap air filter intakes of bargain basement livesuits like the ones the pirates wore.
Pib was very good at sneaking up on a pirate and smashing a ball of peanut butter and assorted crunchy sweet additives into the pirate's air intake ports. Which was how a very small toddler on a trading vessel managed to get a kill/injury score before they could learn to read.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / JuliaLototskaya]
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