What if someone loves a member of the Family, but has to learn to cook. -- Anon Guest
[AN: Has been linked to Engagement Approval Feast by my pal DaniAndShali ]
As far as love is concerned, there are levels of adoration. Loving to distraction is easy. Loving to invention is harder, inspiring the lover to make something initially for their best-beloved. Harder still... is loving to education.
Izzy had been kept out of the kitchen by a series of circumstances for her entire life. First, her parents didn't want to trip over her, then they didn't want her in their elbows. Then this otherwise marvelous pair of perfectionists couldn't stand watching her stumble her way through novice failure after novice failure. She had spent her whole life having other people cook for her, and attempting "five minute" cookery that was set up to fail from the beginning[1]. Until today.
Today, Izzy DuPree was learning how to cook. Izzy loved Mary Rodruiguez to absolute bits, and her Abuela insisted that there would be no useless spouses. Sexuality didn't matter. Gender identity didn't matter. Wealth and upbringing didn't matter. If you couldn't handle a spatula, you were out on your ear. They were starting with eggs.
"No fancy stuff," reminded Mary. "Step by step, and remember to breathe. We've got this. Eggs are the easiest to handle."
Izzy, trembling in her beloved's arms, whimpered, "I always mess things up."
"That's why I'm here teaching you. We got this. We're going to cook eggs every single way you can cook an egg. Bit by bit. The simplest one is frying, and 'over easy', okay? We cook it one way up and flip it. Then cook the other side. Let's start with a nice, low temperature and wait for it to heat up properly. Turn it on at low..."
Izzy, who freaked out when the coffeemaker bleeped at her, did so with exaggerated care. "Ha-how long to we ww-wait?"
"Depends on the cooktop, but we can check in a minute. Do you remember how I told you to check?"
"Drop of water for high, hand hovering for anything less."
"Great," Mary rewarded her with a kiss. "You're doing great. We've got this." Mary walked her through the testing process, then how much oil to use in which kind of pan. Next was how to properly crack an egg. "If you use the edge of the pan or the bowl, you have a greater risk of egg bits in what you're cooking. Tap it on the counter enough to dent it and we can work from there."
She was shaking like a leaf, sweating like a sinner in church, and close to tears, but she successfully toddled all the way to creating a perfectly-done over easy egg. Finishing, of course, with turning things off and cleaning up.
"I did it," Izzy sobbed. "I did it good!"
"I told you we had this, babe. Time for a relax session." When Marie turned away from their little kitchenette, there was Abuela, shawl and all, with a big bag.
Izzy screamed. "I'm not ready! I know I'm not ready! Please don't ban me, I'm trying to learn..."
"I have bought you fresh eggs from my chickens," said Abuela. "So you can practice with the best." She put them on the countertop. "When you make a home with my Maria, you should make sure it has a better kitchen and a bigger refrigerator."
"...What?" squeaked Izzy.
The wrinkled old face twisted into a grin. "You are willing to go to your deepest terror for your love? That is almost as good as not being useless in the first place. You have a good teacher."
"...What?" she repeated.
Abuela made her way to Izzy and gestured her to bend down. "Come down here, sequoia girl." When Izzy obeyed, Abuela kissed her cheek. "For you, I allow the installment plan. You bring me your successes when they happen, eh? It takes a lot of love to conquer fear. You will not hurt my Maria."
Still shaking, but also buoyed up by the sign of approval, Izzy offered the egg she'd just cooked. "Egg over easy?"
It was duly eaten and judged perfect. Abuela's final pronouncement was, "You will do well. I will tell you when you are ready to marry."
Exactly how Abuela even found out about all of this quickly became family legend.
[1] Five minute crafts, Troom troom, Mr Cakes, you know the usual suspects. Check Ann Reardon's debunking playlist for further information
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / ezumeimages]
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