A crazed warlord demands at a temple that God produce rain for a drought wracked region in three days or they’ll be consequences. When the time comes and goes, the warlord sets up an artillery battery around the temple and fires on the heavens above. The next day it begins to rain. If it’s stupid and it works… -- Deathshead419
While it is well known that the gods are in charge of things that mortals can't control, it is supremely rare that someone takes their complaint to the management. In the fifth year of the drought that blighted the Rivers Kingdom[1], someone decided to do something about it.
Warlord Lulgevod charged into the largest temple of Intra, god of the sea and storms. Ze charged in on hir battle-trained warhorse, which was why none barred hir path.
"Tell Intra to make it rain in three days, or he will come to regret it."
The horse dropped its apples as Lulgevod wheeled it to charge out once more. It was clearly not an appropriate sacrifice to the god of the sea and storms. There was much burning of incense and prayers of purification, but Intra would not respond.
Three days after Lulgevod charged into the temple, Lulgevod set up his weapons of terror all around Intra's sacred mountain. The canons were not pointed at the mountain, nor were they aimed at the temple. They were aimed at the shiftless clouds above.
"Last warning," Lulgevod yelled to the clouds. "Break this drought, or suffer the wrath of natural philosophy!" And just to be certain, the canons were the only things in the field that were metal. There was no answer from the sky. "Open fire!"
Thunder roared, but it roared from blackpowder and shot hailing upwards rather than water pouring down. The warlord and his horse galloped around the field, Lulgevod repeating his demands at maximum roar.
The army kept it up for four days, and then the clouds split in a nigh-catastrophic downpour.
The drought didn't merely break. It shattered into a million pieces.
All over the Rivers Kingdom, the rain fell hard. It soaked into the ground, it flowed over the rocks and remaining plants, into the parched rivers and, eventually, towards the sea. It filled the wells, the valleys, and any vessel left outside.
It even threatened to flood. Threatened only.
Before that day, the god of sea and storms had never had a reason to fear mortals and their hubris. He had learned otherwise.
[1] An area well known for its bountiful, and multiple rivers. Not just one.
[Photo by Matt Hardy on Unsplash]
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