Today I encountered an unusual device.
A tea kettle from the future.
I was shopping at my local electronics store when I noticed the shiny red kettle.
"Ooohh shiny. I want it." I thought.
It was a little pricey but then I quite enjoy tea so I figured it was worth the extra cost.
Source: Giphy.com
The box listed a lot of interesting features. One feature that really caught my eye was the predictive language feature.
"Predictive language? That sounds like something my internet browser does." I thought calmly.
I was wrong though. Predictive language is actually spoken language. The tea kettle would actually tell me various bits of information from the future.
Sometimes it tells me what kind of tea I'm going to want. Sometimes it tells me that I would rather have a cup of coffee.
Just a month ago it told me that I was going to meet an unusual woman at a Chinese restaurant at 7:30. That was one of the best nights of my life.
At first I really enjoyed having a tea kettle from the future but eventually it started to become too much for me to handle.
"What kind of tea am I going to want today?" I would ask it, "and which football team should I bet on in the NFL playoffs?"
Cha Ching.
That tea kettle was free money. It had a pretty good personality too.
Then one day it told me something that I did not want to hear.
"You are going to die tonight." it exclaimed in a rather unfortunate tone.
It usually expands on things and tells me all kinds of different information but this time it wouldn't tell me anything more.
Source: Pixabay.com
I was really upset so I decided I would throw the tea kettle away.
I tossed it into the garbage can behind the alley.
Around 8:00 that night my sister came by with her kids.
Easter is right around the corner so they brought a bunch of eggs and an egg dying kit.
"Ohhh.." I smiled to myself.
"You are going to die tonight. You are going to dye eggs tonight. That makes sense."
I guess I misunderstood.
I tried to recover the tea kettle and bring it back in but it would never speak to me again after that day.
I ended up returning it to the store.
The lesson I learned is this: Don't make assumptions when you aren't certain of what's actually being said.
I can tell you one thing. I miss that tea kettle from the future.
He was my friend.
